You are in your Suddenly

I caught a news clip this morning about a country band that is having its “suddenly.”  The band members started their suddenly journey when they were 17; they are now in their 30’s!  And suddenly they were nominated for a Grammy.

It started me thinking.  My first thought was:  “I’m still waiting for my suddenly.”  My second thought:  “I have had lots of suddenlies on the way.”  (Is that a word?)

I think this speaks to the challenge of making goals.  I’ve been taught to create audacious goals to set the course.  The guru’s of success talk about setting goals.  I have to write them for my not-for-profit and for the people I serve.  I see the value in them.  Goals are great, because they help keep me focused.   However, what I’m thinking this morning is that they also set me up.  Because I’ve described what the ultimate “suddenly” would look like – I’ve overlooked the suddenlies on the way.

I can recall the day I knew that I could no longer be what that person needed me to be.  It was a suddenly – that had been developing for quite awhile. 

I can recall the day I knew that my parents were not safe people for me.  It was a suddenly – that had been unfolding in my awareness for years.

I can recall the day I knew that I couldn’t go back to old thinking or behaviors.  It was a suddenly – that had been brewing for quite some time.

We all want a “suddenly.”  My thought for you:  you are in the middle of one!

This morning I celebrated the “suddenlies” of my journey – knowing I will get there – suddenly!

Hope and Hope Deferred

In the corner behind me lies the pile of things I hoped for that didn't materialize.  In front of me lies the possibility of that next new hope. Most days I can choose the hope in front of me and keep on moving. Some days the pile overwhelms me and I decide that hope is not only useless, but hurtful.  Those are the days I believe, "Hope is what you do to set yourself up."  The internal reprimand resounds: "Why did you go and get your hopes up again?"
 
And the pile grows bigger.
 
Hope is a function of the heart.  It is a combination of two other feelings:  expectation and desire. An expectation is waiting for something; looking for somehting.  You just know that the object of your hope is just around the corner.  Desire is a longing for something you want.  Between the expectation and desire is a thought, or hope, that says it just might be possible.  
 
When things don't come about the way we hoped, we are disappointed and perhaps deeper than that, we are disillusioned.  Those are difficult emotions to master, so we often ignore the emotion and through hope into the pile in the corner, telling ourselves we were foolish to hope, or that it really didn't matter. 

This disappointment left unprocessed becomes hope deferred.  And deferred hope makes the heart sick.  It causes physical problems such as stomach and headache issues.  Hope deferred can result in depression, cynicism, or the development of a guarded heart.  It can leave us immobolized, unable to set goals or go after what we want or need.  Deferred hope is toxic.
 
Having hope is so important to restoring you and getting the life you want.  Here are some thoughts about how to manage hope:
1. Examine what are you hoping in? Is it realistic?  Are you hoping in another person, in a situation or outcome, or in the inner strengths and capacity of who you are? 
2.  Combine hope with action.  If you are hoping in a new job, you'll have to do something to find that job, send the resume, interview, etc.  If you're hoping to be restored to all you were capable of being, you'll have do the hard work of making exchanges in your thinking.
3. Process the disappointments.  Acknowledge that you are disappointed without making excuses or beating yourself up.
4.  Learn from it - was your expectation unrealistic?  Did you need to take more action?  What can you do differently.
5.  Choose to try again!

Hope keeps you moving.  Hope deferred keeps you stuck.  Choose Hope!

Change your mind

I remember saying it to her - "Make a different choice."  She looked at me kind of shocked, almost offended looking (don't worry, it wasn't one of my ladies at Connections!)  I realized several things in that moment.  First, she didn't understand she could make a different choice.  And secondly, she didn't know what her options were.

It made me stop and reflect about how we make our choices.  What information do we use?  Often I think we make a choice based on our experiences and what we've interpreted them to be.

• If your experiences have been the trauma of sex abuse, and you've interpreted that to mean that you are shame, your choices will be made from that perspective.  But is that really true?
• If you've had trouble in school, and you've interpreted that to mean that you are not smart, your choices will be made from that perspective.  But is that really true?

One of our exercises in our Advance! Workbook requires the reader to explore this concept.  What is the distinction between reality and truth?  Here's what happens:  You have an event or experience  (realty), you interpret the event and assign a meaning to it that you live out of, (your truth); except your assigned truth may not be the truth at all!

An example:  Reality/event: I was molested.  Assigned truth:  I'm disgusting.  Truth:  Something disgusting happened, I'm not disgusting. 

An example:  Reality: a little girl is at her dance recital watching for her parents.  They don't show up.  Assigned truth:  "I don't matter."  Truth:  Her parents were delayed by a traffic accident.

When you separate it out and recognize your assigned truth vs. the truth of the situation, you can then use your power of agreement and align with the truth, not the destructive assigned truth that is impacting your life. I'm often asked, how do I know it's truth? Our definition of truth: truth is defined as the concepts and thoughts that move you closer to a sense of freedom, hope, purpose and destiny. Truth is about knowing the accuracy in spite of what the reality of events may tell you. 

You absolutely can change your mind!  You have a choice! Choosing the truth will lead to new freedom to make different choices! That's power!  That's truth!

Can we shift the story we live in?

The women gathered around the table were of varying generations and perspectives.  It was an eclectic looking group with one goal: create a follow-up event to a recent "Status of Women" expo.  Our first task was to select a focus for the event, i.e., around what topic would we build?

When the brainstorming session began I was struck with an understanding that each suggestion was framed around the individual stories that each woman carried.  Each brought to the table the "story" either assigned to her by culture or applied to her by experience. The suggestions focused on what had happened to women.  I could feel the room drain from hope to gloom. 

So I opened my mouth and spun a different story.  "Can't we create a different conversation?  What if we shift our stories to focus on the strengths of women, the core qualities and positive aspects of women rather than stay under the labels and barriers?"  They were stunned.  And the hope rose in the room.

The stories we tell, and the stories we invest in create the framework for how we conduct our lives.  They either confine us or create possibility.

It's the difference between fate and destiny.  Perhaps you've heard me talk about this before.  Fate is the path that we take when we allow circumstances to define us.  Destiny is the path we take when we shift the story by living out of the strengths of our identity.

Restoration is about identifying the restraints of story and shifting them.  It's about changing the relationship you have with "the story".  It's about fighting back, standing up and saying, "I will not be confined by your perspective or actions." 

You absolutely can shift the story in which you live!

Birthing Wisdom

"I am so excited about what you are experiencing."  I know it sounds funny when I say it. I even cringe sometimes, because I say that when I'm sitting with someone who has just understood a difficult truth about the life she has lived. 

She has paid a great cost to arrive at that truth.  It comes wrapped in pain and discomfort.  Its companion, denial, has worked hard to keep the truth from being revealed and explored. Your truth provides wisdom.  I don't know of any other way to unlock that truth than to unwrap the pain and labor through the obstacles to birth the wisdom that will set you free.

Obstacles such as denial, fear, the expectations of others and your own emotions can trick you into thinking you 'can't."  Each obstacle holds its own wisdom.

• Denial - The stance that once "protected" you, is now the doorway to the answers to the questions that keep you wondering "why?"
• Fear - A legitimate emotion that hovers over either truth of experience or unhealthy adaptations made to create a sense of safety or control.
• Expectation of others - Wisdom here is gained in being able to identify safe or unsafe people as you unpack those experiences.
• Your emotions - Provide an opportunity to explain what you are experiencing and explore deeper beliefs that drive emotional reactions.

Wisdom is found in self knowledge and self confrontation.  You hold the secrets to changing what you want to change. You can't fix what you don't know, and you can't shift what you're not willing to confront. 

Only you can decide if you are willing to do the labor of birthing your own wisdom.
I hope you do!



  

What is worth fighting for?

I heard this question today on the radio.  What is worth fighting for? I posted the question on Facebook and got some wonderful answers:  me, life, love, dignity, truth, justice.  All worth fighting for.

But my mind didn't stop with that question.  In tumbled additional thoughts:
1. So, fighting means there is an adversary - so who am I fighting when I choose to fight (as suggested), for me?

• I could be fighting restrictions from others.
• I could be fighting my internal thoughts.
• I could be fighting me.

Or if I'm fighting for dignity, or truth, who or what am I fighting?  You have to have some knowledge of the adversary.

2. If I choose to fight for any of the above mentioned things, what are my weapons?  What do I use; what is in my hands, my heart or my thoughts that will help me win this battle? You have to be equipped.

Pretty good questions!  Why ask them? 

Because every day I spend time with people fighting back. People who are living on a battlefield they didn't create.  People who now have to find the strength to identify what they are fighting for; who is the "enemy" and what weapon is needed to take out that enemy.  And it is exhausting!  And they need our support!

I remind them "you have to fight for it."  You have to want whatever "it" is more than you want to stay where you are.  You have to fight through the denial, the pain, the shame, the fears.  I remind them that they were created with power.  Inside them are the tools to win!  They have what they need to do the battle.  And I'll help them as they go.

Because it is SO worth fighting for!

Denial is not a safe place

Some things are really hard to know and accept as reality.  Who among us really wants to be faced with the ugliness and hurt of the world? Sex abuse falls into that category of "I don't want to know."  It is extremely difficult to acknowledge that it is present in our world - or even more difficult to acknowledge that it might have been in your world. 

That's why we so often choose denial!  It appears that denial brings relief from feeling the pain of an intolerable truth.  It appears that denial insulates you from being hurt again.  And it appears that through the glasses of denial you can move successfully through life.

And for a time, denial may accomplish all those things.  But not really.

The truth is still there, impacting your beliefs and thus your behaviors.  The emotions are still there, perhaps causing you digestive problems or severe headaches.  And most challenging, the thinking and behaviors adopted in trauma, and often not recognized, actually create vulnerability in your life.  Denial does not keep you safe. What do I mean? 

• Suppose you choose to deny the disregard you experienced in sex abuse. You now have no radar to recognize when you might be experiencing disregard in current relationships.
• Suppose you choose to deny that Uncle Jim molested you.  You now have no power to stay away from either the Uncle or anyone else who is unsafe.

Choosing to come out of denial and "know what you already know", provides power to live in authenticity. Knowledge is power.  That knowledge equips you to make decisions based on truth. You can make decisions that create safety and honor the value of you. Fears that may have haunted you are understood and conquered. The truth does set you free - to be a powerful you!

Stay on the Path

Yesterday I took down the Christmas tree and "officially" closed the holiday season in my home.  I now face January; the start of 2014.  I'm standing at the head of a path, peering down into a new year and wondering.

Before me I see possibility and challenges. Sometimes more challenges than possibility!  I have a choice to make:  Do I focus on that looming challenging mountain, or do I look through the mountain to embrace and push through to reach the possibility?  Can I muster what it will take to overcome?  Where do I find the strength and hope needed to get through the obstacles I will face? 

And the answer resonates within my heart:  In my authentic identity!

I was created with a deep determination and an "I won't stop" attitude.  I also was created with a heart for God and a connection to His leading.  I determine today to tap into those aspects of my identity. That will give me what I need to stay on the path in 2014!

Join me in entering 2014 and keep in mind these things:
1.  Who you were created to be is exactly what you need to maneuver through what lies ahead.
2.  Don't let the obstacles ahead draw you off the path of your destiny!  Stand your ground.  Fight for it! Whatever is on your path is yours to overcome!  In overcoming you develop the key to open the next door to destiny.
3.  Don't settle and rest in the negative oppression of what you know or experience.  You were created for more and have what it takes to move into the new!  Your inheritance is secured on the path.
4.  When faced with a crossroad, be still, recalculate, look at the consequences and rewards at the junction.  Contemplate, reflect and choose with wisdom and strength.  Then you can move forward in confidence.

I will journey with you!  Stay connected! 
Happy New Year - Stay on the Path!

Creating, Sustaining or Destroying

First, thank you for reading this blog.  So much information is now available all the time; it can be a bit overwhelming and time consuming.  I appreciate you spending some time here.  :)

Do you remember the movie Groundhog Day?  Every day the central character would wake up to the same events.  Every day he went through the same routine experiencing things again and again.  Sometimes my life feels like that - getting up to do the same things again and again.  Sometimes it feels as if life is on autopilot and I have little power to shift things.  That's not true.

At Connections we teach about the "power of agreement."  When you align your thinking and your emotions with a concept, a belief or a behavior, then your personal energy, or personal power, is utilized to either create, sustain or destroy.  You are daily exercising personal power, even in your "groundhog day" life. 

It works like this.  You are either:

• Creating: Our definition of creativity is approaching a need, task, or an idea from a new perspective. And letting go of the old perspective. Don't like the way things are unfolding for you?  Create a new possibility. Shift your power of agreement away from what needs to shift and align with where you want to go.  You can open a new door by shifting your power of agreement.
• Sustaining: At the core of the groundhog day experience is keeping everything the same.  Often our power of agreement sustains the wounds and dysfunction that hurts.  We accept the belief that we can't change; or that we are unlovable, and the outcome that reinforces that belief is sustained. On the positive side, you can sustain the healthy aspects of your life as well by aligning your power of agreement in that direction.
• Destroying:  I have made a conscious decision to shift unhelpful legacies within my family.  Legacies are those often overlooked patterns of thinking or behaviors that are passed from generation to generation.  I no longer agree with the ones that stifle or hurt.  I'm shifting my power of agreement and destroying those hurtful legacies.

Yes, there are patterns that shape your life.  But you are not powerless!  You don't have to live a groundhog day life!

Living in the moment

We are having an unusual summer in Cincinnati.  Cool temperatures with no humidity!  I find myself really enjoyng it, but waiting, poised for the REAL weather to show up. 

My grandchildren are off playing and I hear the giggles, but I'm waiting, poised for the cry that will come when one of them gets hurt or disappointed.

I catch myself in these thoughts of waiting for the bad stuff to happen, and sigh - then feel the tension in my body.  Why is it that living in the moment is so difficult?  Why is it that I rob myself of experiencing the pleasure of the moments I'm in? 

I find this challenge is something many of us struggle with.  It is the history and experience of our past that informs our preparation for the future, and we skip right over the now.  And when we do, our expectation of the negative is fulfilled as we pull it in to our atmosphere and miss the pleasure that is available. 

Just being in the moment isn't safe.  I hear all the "should's" in my head: You must be prepared to manage the emotion that will erupt in a minute.  You must anticipate the needs of others. You must not take in the joy because that will make the sorrow even bigger.  You've got to be in control so you don't acknowledge your lack of power.  All the should's, they rob me.

In this moment my 5 year old grandaughter runs into the room laughing as she brings me her dress up clothes to help her become Snow White.....I look into her eyes, see the joy in her "now".  I'm drawn into her world, and decide to drop all my shoulds.  Some moments are too precious too miss.

Expectations and Disappointment

Quite a balancing act this connection between expectation and disappointment!  Disappointment is linked to expectation in that we feel disappointed when what we experience is not close to what we expected.  When our expectaions don't meet the reality in the experience, we are disappointed.

Feeling disappointed is uncomfortable and is an emotion we would like to avoid. How do we typically manage that?

• We lower our expectations, or we have no expectation at all. That way we can manage the emotion of disappointment by not giving it a place to land.  Works in the moment perhaps, but by denying expectation, several things happen.  One, we kill the power found in hope and we lose motivation.  Second, the people around us slip into complacency as there is no expectation of them.
• We deny or do not process the disappointment.  Again, several things can happen.  We become angry at ourselves for having a hope of expectation and internalize a self-destructive emotion or message.  Secondly, that unprocessed feeling of disappointment ultimately feeds into disheartenment and the snowball of depression grows bigger.

What's the answer?  Truthfully, sometimes we need to lower our expectations. An example:  when your past experiences tell you that Sam is not going to listen with an open heart, you might need to protect yourself and adjust your expectation that keeps saying, "if I say it this way..." and not share things of the heart.

Sometimes we need to hold out an expectation and stand strong.  An example: Expecting to be treated with respect is absolutely an appropriate need.  Standing strong in that expectation will produce an atmosphere around you that moves people to respond.  If their behavior does not leave you feeling respected, you will be disappointed, however, your self-respect remains intact.

And so very important and core to this issue:  When disappointed, own it, name it, feel it, work your way through it!  Denying the uncomforable emotion only makes things worse.  Owning the disappointment says, "My hopes, needs, etc., have value."  Learn from the emotion and make an adjustment in either your thinking or behavior as necessary.

Stand Up

Huh - just seeing the title, it appears that this blog post will again have a "fight" flavor to it. Why?  Because at the core of me is a fighting warrior tired of a world that compacently accepts violence and the presence of sex abuse. 

I see hundreds of people turn out for a walk against breast cancer - and yet the numbers of victims of breast cancer are not near the numbers of victims of sex abuse!

I see hundreds of people turn out for a walk to support issues around mental health - and yet many of those issues originate in the trauma of sex abuse.

I see hundreds of people turn out for a walk about autism, cystic fibrosis and now Alzheimer's.

What the heck?!?  We issue a call for people to Stand Up against sex abuse - and we have little response!  I'm sick of the powerless feeling.  I'm sick of the shame keeping us from addressing it.  I'm sick of the passive acceptance of sex abuse as something we have to "prevent"! Let's not tolerate it!

STAND UP!  When we asked 300 people what their first response was when they heard about sex abuse, the word most used was "sick".  I'm calling you to move beyond that first response!  Yes, it is "sick", but let's get angry about it.  Let's take this down.  Let's Stand Up and battle the mindsets that allow sex abuse to exist. 

If you are in the Cincinnati area - join us on August 17th, in Ault Park as we walk and STAND UP OHIO.  This will be unique!  You won't just walk, although showing up alone will make a statement.  But you will have the opportunity to visit 3 action stations where you will help unearth and combat cultural norms and mindsets.  We are attacking at the root!  COME UP TO  A HIGHER PLACE AND BATTLE WITH US!

rsvp: connections2602@gmail.com  or http://standupohiowalk.brownpapertickets.com

Fighting the Wrong Battle

The honest truth is that life is difficult.  It is full of disappointment, hurt, confusion and often trauma. How we make it through these challenges, and what we do with them is were the value lies. You have to fight to overcome.  And far too often we end up fighting the wrong battle.

Consider a woman now in domestic violence. Thinking that her only means of stopping the attacks is to adjust her demeanor, or words or behaviors, she battles herself, denies her needs and adjusts.  Consider the adult man victimized by sex abuse as a child.  Thinking that his sexuality is the problem, he battles and denies his natural responses.  A battle has an objective - what would you say is the objective in the battle these two people are fighting? I suggest that in these examples, the objective is to manage the trauma and it's impact. It's the wrong battle.  It's wasted energy.  And it does not produce freedom.

We have to fight for the freedom to be who we were created to be.  We have to fight for our rights, fight for our authentic identity and the power and direction it provides.  We have to fight the belief systems developed from wounding and trauma that tell us we don't matter or have no value. 

Deep inside is the essence of you.  It has not disappeared, it has not been destroyed.  It waits, holding the treasures of your potential and the provision to accomplish it. 

That's the correct battle!

What inside of you needs saving?

I could see the confusion on her 3 year old face.  Corrected for asking too many questions, she was confused, but complied and put away her curiosity.  Thus began her separation from an important part of her identity. 

I could see the confusion on his 43 year old face.  When asked what he enjoyed about his personailty he looked puzzled.  I knew that somehow and at sometime he had separated himself from really knowing and enjoying himself.

Not so unusual really.  As we grow up and experience relationship, we quickly learn what parts of our identity are acceptable and appreciated and which ones cause trouble and anxiety.  And we make adjustments appropriately.  And we lose connection to parts of ourselves.

So, what inside you was put away and needs to be saved?  It could be your determination, your joy, your desire to do or be something, your sense of humor, your creativity, your longings, even your emotions.  What about your internal make-up did you step away from?

You might be wondering, well, if I put it away, it was for a good reason. WHY would I want to reconnect to it?  Because every part of how you were created has purpose!  I believe in the Creator God who designed you and in that design He has a purpose. Everything about you, yes, even the quirky aspects of your personality, fit together to supply you with exactly what is needed for the assignment you have in this life.

I am a tenacious and determined lady!  However, when people could not control me, they would call me stubborn and unteachable.  Neither of which is true, (Okay - in total transparency, I might be stubborn sometimes.  Ha!) Although this tenacity might cause me (and others around me) problems, I absolutely must be tenacious to do the work I do! It is an important part of who I am, even if it causes be problems. 

Take the risk.  Look deeper inside you!  Listen for the whisper inside that longs to be heard. Go on the Restoration Journey and look for what needs to be saved inside you.

www.beyondrecoverytorestoration.com

Put aside the story assigned to you!

Her eyes tell me she doesn't fully grasp what I'm sharing.  As a young child she was repeatedly molested by family members and she has deep beliefs about her value and who she is.  Hearing that she isn't what happened to her - that the story the molester assigned to her isn't hers - rocks her foundation.

The beliefs based on trauma are so deep that she feels threatened when I offer an alternative.  I get it.  We build our relationships and our world based on internal capacities defined by our experiences.  And it limits us and how we interact and move.  When I suggest that there is more to her, she feels rattled and wonders about this hope.  Can she really become all she was created to be?

Hope comes in strange packages.  It can come in a song, in a whisper from your heart, or in the words of a speaker.  Hearing it is not enough.  The next step is up to you.  What will you do with the hope offered?  Will you explore it?  Will you do the hard work of internalizing it and shifting what you think? 

Put aside the stories others have written for you and discover who you really are!

Victim or Survivor

The language we use in talking about sex abuse is so very important.  Words shape the direction of our lives and our thinking.  The words spoken to us, around us and over us create pathways upon which our lives play out.  Words can build up or tear down, set limits or promote freedom, encourage or discourage, bless or curse.

When we too quickly use the word “survivor” to describe someone who has been traumatized by sex abuse, we are negating the reality of the impact of sex abuse and “promoting” them into a place that doesn’t allow for the necessary healing.  On the outside they adopt the identity of survivor, meaning “I’m Okay”, “I survived it”, while on the inside all they know is fear, uncertainty, intense pain, and loss of personal identity.

It is no wonder the victim of sex abuse hears, “put it behind you”, “why are you still thinking about that”, for we have told them by denying their victimhood that it IS over.  We have told them in the use of our language that it IS all better – you survived!  This is wrong and destructive, and perpetuates and prolongs the damage of abuse.

Saying, “I’m a survivor” is not more empowering than saying, “I’m a victim”.  Victims have more power to get freedom than survivors do because first, victims can place the blame where it belongs – on the person who hurt them.  A victim knows that something was done TO them.  Using the word “victim”, helps shift the sense of responsibility that “survivors” typically carry.

 Secondly, when someone says, “I am a victim of sex abuse”, they create an open space and a direction to travel to the place of being a “survivor.”  That space allows for looking at the impact of sex abuse.  The impact is found in what one believes about self and the world, and is where the real damage of sex abuse lies. 

First a victim, then a survivor, once the impact of the trauma has been cleansed and overcome.

P.S. – Another thought about use of language: I would also suggest we lose the “I AM…”  That denotes identity and connects who you are to the trauma!  You aren’t your trauma! Rather say, “I was victimized by sex abuse” or, “I experienced sex abuse.”

The Courage to be You!

I'm reading a book by Mark Nepo, Finding Inner Courage, and I'm struck with his understanding of what true courage is.  He says, "The word courage comes from the Latin cor, which literally means heart.  The original use of the word courage means to stand by one's core."  No wonder I'm drawn to this book!

I love that definition!  In the language of restoration it reflects our concept of reconnecting to authentic identity.  Simultaneously I see two pictures of what that means.  First, I see myself drawn to that core, intrigued, standing by it, discovering it, embracing it and protecting it.   And I recognize the courage that it takes to do that exploration.  All the things that have "shaped" my life have left behind a definition of what the world assigned to me as who I am.  And yet, beyond that is the true me.  Pushing through others expectations and definitions to discover me is costly, risky and hard work- it takes courage!

Secondly I see myself standing by my core, living out of what I've uncovered! Immediately I feel the peace and joy of living from authentic identity.  It means that the things I attempt are managed with the power that lies in knowing fully what I bring to the table. Living out of my core means I know my limitations, I know my strengths and I live in that balance without fear or regret.And it takes courage to do that, especially when others object. 

The best part of standing by one's core and living out of authentic identity?  Because I believe that my authentic identity was created with the heart and handprint of God, I'm living out of the intimacy provided in that connection.  And I feel loved, accepted and powerful!

 

Peace in Restoration

Yesterday morning, as I was driving to witness the recording of a song written for Connections, I was in touch with a deep abiding place of peace, contentment and expectation.  I was reminded about the scriptural teaching that says God provides the "peace that passes all understanding".  I began to sink into that concept from a Restoration perspective.

At that moment, in my car, thinking about where I was going, I knew that this act was yet another step in walking out my destiny.  Fifteen years ago I made the first step to open Connections, without money and without participants.  I had a vision and passion and a friend who said she would make the journey with me.  My entire life changed.  I became single again, expereinced my parents walking away, finances became a continual struggle, and I went back to school.  And I found me!

At the core of who I am is the passion to enable people to become all they were created to be and step into their destiny.  I did not know that Sandra had been writing and singing for years with the dream of recording a song and becoming the artist she knows she is.  When our paths crossed, Sandra, without expecting anything in return, wrote, "I Won't Let it Own Me", a song that epitomizes the message of Restoration.  She had no idea that Connections would be able to pay for the recording and start-up distirubtion of that song.  She stepped into destiny when she willinging allowed God to use her passion for His purpose.

Yesterday, I knew that the provision I was bringing to the recording of that song was directly unlocking Sandra's destiny while fulfilling mine.  Part of my destiny is to assist in the unlocking of the potential in others.  The peace and contentment I felt was in the knowing that my restored identity was accomplishing its purpose. Not everything has changed in my situation.  I'm still single, still out of touch with my parents, and still financially challenged.  But the peace and contentment of being connected to my God created identity and walking in destiny is unexplainable and so very awe-inspiring it takes my breath away.  Thats "the peace that passes all understanding."