Wednesday, June 29, 2011

New Theme Song for Me!

Last week I hobbled my way into the Doctor's office hoping that he would release me to put weight on my repaired ankle.  While waiting for the appointment, my mind was rehearsing the Diana Ross song, "I'm Coming Out" over and over.  I'm sure it was not only a hopeful but prophetic song, because I was
released to walk again!

Why the new theme song?  This whole ankle breaking thing has been quite an experience.  Just at the time I'm starting a new movement:  "Zero Tolerance", my ankle gets broken! Are you kidding me?  The good news: I've been changed from the inside out and I've got great new biceps from using a walker!  Ha!  I had lots of time for personal reflection as I was forced to sit most of the time. Listening to webcasts and reading provided an avenue for an even deeper inner transformation and strengthening of purpose.  I'm coming out of this experience with new resolve to stand my ground and bring the challenging message of moving beyond prevention to Zero Tolerance.  And I will need this new strength!

The song has a great drum beat that announces a change, then she belts out:  I'm coming out - I want the world to know; got to let it show. There's a new me coming out and I just have to live! This time around I'm going to do it like you never knew it!"  Get ready world - Rebecca is coming out of this experience with new strength!

Here we go:  It is time we stop relying on prevention models for addressing sex abuse.  Prevention means, "this awful crime exists, but I'm going to try and prevent it from getting you."  That actually means that we are accepting it's presence.  ZERO TOLERANCE says, "Oh no you don't!  We are closing that door. Go to Facebook, search "Zero Tolerance Now! Protect Kids" and like our new page!

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Authentic Identity is SO Important!

Once, years ago, someone I respect turned to me in a playful respectful manner and said, "You just love being a thorn don't you?"  I've chuckled over that statement many times and enjoyed it!  Because honestly, that is part of my authentic identity.  I was created with a side of me that loves to push against the status quo and challenge people with new ways of thinking.  I don't do this to be mean; but to bump people into new creative possbilities for themselves and our world.

That's why I work so hard to advance the thought of restoration.  Restoration is not just a fresh word to be used to replace the words of healing or recovery.   Restoration is a pathway to reconnect to authentic identity - to connect to all you were created capable of being.  It indeed goes beyond the recovery model.  And it is hard work for sure!

My authentic identity includes my skills, talents, passions, personality, quirks, purpose and hopes.  I am not what has been done to me!  I am not what others assign to me!  I'm not what others project on to me! It is so important to clean off these assignments and beliefs and walk out of authentic identity because the aspects of the authentic me are exactly what I need to fulfill my purpose!  Now you tell me, if I didn't have that "thorn" part of me, would I be able to do the work I do to address the issue of sex abuse?!?  Don't think so.

Thursday, June 9, 2011

My defense: "I was molested."

You can't help but hear about the Casey Anthony trial going on in Florida.  Perhaps you heard that her defense has suggested that Casey was sexually molested by her father and brother and out of the impact of that trauma, she colluded with her father to cover up her daughters drowning. 

I have several gut reactions to this allegation by the defense.  First, it is a known fact that I will very rarely challenge a victim's allegation.  I will typically err on the side of believing a victim because even if the alleged abuse is not as stated, there is something going on it that person that needs a touch of assistance. So, although I may have personal questions about the truth of the allegation, I will not focus on that being the issue at hand.

What I do want to focus on is the molestation charge being offered as an excuse for outrageous and immoral behavior.  The things that each of us experience as children, whether sex abuse, neglect, abandonment or just plain family dysfunctional hurts leaves an imprint on our lives. These imprints can define us if we allow them. They are a “reason” for some of our behaviors, but should never be used as an “excuse”. Ultimately each of us is responsible for the choices we make, even within the scars of sex abuse.

Thus, the importance of doing the work of restoration, or reconnecting to your authentic identity.  When you do the hard work of taking responsibility for identifying the internal structures you have in place to manage the unmanageable, and make the exchanges necessary in your thinking, you can clean off the labels, misconceptions and lies and connect to all you were created capable of being. Restoration connects you to your true power - your authentic identity!