Imagine the confusion within a child when:
- A mother says I love you, but the next day abandons her at the side of the road as a joke.
- A fathers consistent criticism is the basis of acknowledgement.
- A mother only accepts you if you meet her needs.
- The child's revelation of sex abuse is met with disregard.
Now, as an adult, you have the responsibility, and right to recognize the reality of what your parent offers as love and grieve what is missing. It is time to accept the reality of who your parent is and make steps to release yourself from the toxic cycles that occur.
Then, that unmet need of parental love can be filled as you recognize and internalize the safe love of others. It may not come the way you had hoped, but it absolutely is possible to fill that void.
What was offered as love was appalling. What's available in healing is amazing.