Trauma: Unraveling Truth and Reality

She arrives wearing baggy sweat pants and over sized shirts, and I know she is living out of the "truth" she has assigned to her sense of self.  She is walking in what she believes is her truth. Actually, it isn't true that she is shameful or damaged goods. However, out of the reality of experiencing sexual trauma, she has developed a "truth" that directs the way she carries herself.

Truth and reality get confused, especially for the victim of trauma. 

I define truth as the concepts and thoughts that move you closer to a sense of freedom, hope, purpose and destiny. Truth is about knowing the accuracy in spite of what the reality of events may tell you.  Have you ever talked to a person who is color blind? He often experiences the color red as shades of gray. His reality is that ‘red’ is experienced as ‘gray’. The truth, however, is red is really a different color. His experience and therefore his reality does not have the power to change the color red to gray. The person with color blindness learns to distinguish the difference between the truth and his reality and often seeks help in coordinating his wardrobe.

I define reality as a state of affairs; something that exists independently of things concerning it.  Reality is about knowing what has happened or is happening. Those events that just are.

Distinguishing between truth and reality can be difficult, but so important in untangling the impact of sexual trauma. Trauma happens and we tell ourselves something as a result - something that may not be truth even when it feels as if it is.  

Consider completing this fill in the blank about something in your life:

Reflecting back on my life I can see that my reality consisted of: ______________________

_____________________________________________________________________________.

Which caused me to believe that my truth is: _____________________________________________

______________________________________________________. But if I look deeper I can see

that the truth behind my reality is _____________________________________________________

and not ________________________________________________________________________.

Here is an example that might help you sort this out:

Reflecting back on my life I can see that my reality consisted of sexual trauma.  Which caused me to believe that my truth is that I'm bad and shameful.  But if I look deeper I can see that the truth behind my reality is that something bad happened to me and not that I am bad.

Once you untangle the reality and identify the truth, you make the decision to align your power away from the lie formed from trauma towards the truth that brings freedom!

Break out Creativity!

Already I feel the stretching in my brain.  This week in our Connections Community on-line, we are talking about Creativity as a tool to overcome!  So, I've been looking at it and trying some of the exercises as designed by Michael Michalko (www.creativethinking.net).  The exercises disrupt my normal thinking patterns - and I actually feel the strain in my brain! 

Why try to revive my creativity?  Several reasons:
1. Some of the ways I think and the patterns I live in aren't working for me.  You know that definition of insanity:  "Doing the same old thing and expecting different results."
2.  I have been created with creativity inside. And yet it is submerged. School teaches us to understand things in categories and structures and often stifles creativity. In healing we are instructed to look at our "toolbox" and select the right tool.  And sometimes the categories and tools don't match my needs and don't unleash my possibility.
3.  I've always been someone who pushes the status quo.  I want new solutions to the challenges in my world, because what we're doing isn't working!

It took me awhile to even grasp how this concept of creativity can work in restoration.  It was my creative colleague, Rachel who first pushed this idea on me. I had to push past my boxed definition of  creativity to grasp it - which is the entire purpose! 

Thinking creatively isn't just for artists or photographers.  It is part of you!  And it can be restored! 

As I think about you all uncovering and connecting to creativity I am awash with the excitement of what can happen! 

• Inside your creativity is the power to overcome the impact of all you've experienced.
• Think creatively and you might be the one who carries the solutions we need. 

With your creativity unleashed, we can accomplish new and powerful things!

Here's a worksheet for you to explore Creativity! Let me know what you discover!
 http://www.connectionssp.org (Click on Worksheet Tab)

Why do you hold on?

I'm telling you up front that this title is a bait and switch - so you might want to leave right now!  Ha! You may have thought that I was going to talk about how challenging it is to hold on while you work to overcome trauma. 

I'm not.

I want to express my perplexity as I watch people hold on to the things that hurt them.  I see people hold on to their story; hold on to the emotions, the dysfunctional behaviors, and the lies they believe. All the things that keep them trapped in anxiety, depression, and hurtful relationships.  It baffles me.  It confuses me.  And it exhausts me.

Do I sound unsympathetic?  I'm not.  I am sympathetic to the reality of what each person has endured. Do I sound ignorant?  I'm not. I am aware of the atrocities perpetrated and the devastating impact, and the work it takes to shift. Do I sound worn out?  Maybe.

As I've pondered why some people do the work of shifting, and why some remain in the cycle of seeking healing, I've come to the conclusion that it all boils down to willingness.  I know the things we tell ourselves about the "why" we don't make the shifts to set ourselves free.  I know that one of the core forces of resistance is fear. That is a given! Typically, when we hear about people's fear, we either validate it as real, (which it is) or suggest courage as a means to overcome it. But I believe the skill necessary is deeper than that - it takes willingness to engage the courage.  It takes finding the will inside to say, "no matter what," I'm going to overcome.

I was scared when I realized I was losing a 26 year marriage.  I could have allowed the fear of the unknown, or of what people would think to keep me trapped.  I could have put away all that I had learned about myself and settle back down into what I knew how to do.  I had to be willing to turn my world upside down. 

So my question to all of us is:  
Why do you hold on to the things that are hindering your life?

If you discover that ultimately you aren't willing to make the shift, find a safe way to live in what you are experiencing.  Disarm the internal conflict created by seeking healing you are not willing to take.  No judgement!  Just accepting the reality of what you are willing and not willing to do.  Even that will set you free.

What People Pass off for Love is Appalling

I'm always open to go where our support group wants to go.  We were talking about the relationship someone develops with the trauma they experienced, when the discussion took a sharp turn. Our ladies began to talk about the current relationships they have with their parents.  All 5 women present had a deep unmet longing to feel loved and accepted by a parent.  Separate from the sex abuse they had experienced was this unmet need that was crying out for fulfillment.  That cry is hurting them today as it continuously puts them in unhealthy relationship patterns and keeps the trauma engaged.

Imagine the confusion within a child when:

• A mother says I love you, but the next day abandons her at the side of the road as a joke.
• A fathers consistent criticism is the basis of acknowledgement.
• A mother only accepts you if you meet her needs.
• The child's revelation of sex abuse is met with disregard.

As children we have no choice but to assign the term "love" to what is given to us as a representation of love. Often what is offered in the name of love is not sufficient nor is it truth. The child ends up emotionally malnourished, weakened and starving for what she thinks only the parent can provide.  That leaves the adult child still attached to the frustrating cycle of hope that the parent will love appropriately. 

Now, as an adult, you have the responsibility, and right to recognize the reality of what your parent offers as love and grieve what is missing. It is time to accept the reality of who your parent is and make steps to release yourself from the toxic cycles that occur.

Then, that unmet need of parental love can be filled as you recognize and internalize the safe love of others.  It may not come the way you had hoped, but it absolutely is possible to fill that void.

What was offered as love was appalling.  What's available in healing is amazing.

The Ultimate Revenge

The Ultimate Revenge
It's a normal reaction and question.  We ask it when someone we love dies.  We ask it when there is a terrible accident.  And the victim of sex abuse asks it in the journey to restoration.  "WHY?"  

Sometimes people are quick to offer an answer.  Things like, "He was drunk", "You were an affectionate kid" or "She was a pervert". None of those answers bring any relief, and actually create deeper harm.  

There is no answer to the question, "Why did he do it?" that will make any sense or bring any satisfaction. There is no good answer.  There is no solid response as to why that will help you feel better.

Focusing on that question will keep you stuck. It's like seeing a mountain in front of you that blocks the view.  It stands in your way of progress. When you continually ask, "Why?", you remain tied to the abuser in a way that prevents you from moving through to processing the real impact: the beliefs born of trauma and the emotional pain.  As long as you stay focused on a question that can't be answered and provides no sense of relief, you remain in the fallout of trauma and the abuser wins!  He or she is still in control!  How?  Because the beliefs, thoughts and emotions hide behind that unanswerable question and control your behaviors and wreck havoc in your life.

You can have the last word!  You can have the ultimate revenge!  That revenge is moving beyond the "why's" to exploring how sex abuse impacted you; take down the destructive beliefs born of trauma, and become all you were created capable of being.  When you do the hard work of shifting beliefs and using your power of agreement, and walk in the freedom of you - the abuser loses control!  

It's the ultimate revenge!  Become who you were created to be!

Be your own Hero

Over the holiday I watched a movie (twice actually!) called, "The Four Minute Mile" that reflected the paradigm about authentic identity that I breathe and live.  In short, it is about a young boy in a difficult family dynamic who loves to run and aspires to be great at it.  He connects to a coach who sees he has been trying to run the wrong race and helps him grasp that he is designed to run the mile, not the 400.  He calls forth identity in this young man.

As the young man is training and attempting to connect to the ability to run the mile, the coach says to him:

      "You got something so deep in there.  Face that fear and beat it.  If you face that fear
        it will change your life.  It will be the hardest thing to do.  There will be the moment
        you can't breathe. Push through it!  It's beautiful!"

Oh my!  This is the restoration journey!  Finding what you were created to be, identifying the obstacles, and pushing through to the beautiful place of "being".

This week at Connections we are looking at being your own hero.  That's what it means!
A hero is someone who goes through a great change!  Reconnecting to authentic identity is that great change!  Facing whatever is in the way and plowing through it is the key!

As we start this new year my deep desire for us all is that we become our own hero!

Let's journey together and do it!

I Saw Her Become

I'd been weeping most of the morning when I finally followed my own advise, and asked, "why am I so emotional?"  I knew that attending the play, "Celebrated Silence" last night had moved me.  But, come on, I know the impact of groping and what it does to lives. Why was it echoing inside me still?
I remember the day Anisha, sitting in our Advance! course, asked me, "Is groping really sex abuse?" "Absolutely!" I replied. "Sex abuse is about what it does to someones heart and soul." Anisha looked at me with shock. The worksheets were revelation to her as she began to uncover the deep impact of realizing how having been groped had shifted her thinking and behavior patterns.  Anisha completed the course.

When I went on my own restoration journey years ago, I stepped into my destiny and Connections was birthed.  My passion lies in giving victims of sex abuse tools to conquer the impact of trauma and move into living out of authentic identity where destiny lies.

Last night, I watched Anisha walk into destiny!  And I was shaken at my core.  My tears were not about the reality she shared, as challenging as the content was.  But my tears were at seeing someone do the hard work of restoration, reclaim their authentic identity and walk into purpose.

You see, she wrote and starred in the play.  "Celebrated Silence" is about the personal damage of groping and offers a challenge to each of us, who in our denial of outrage, celebrates keeping victims silent. Through restoration she unlocked her passion.  She left her profession as a doctor and established All Shades Theater, a theater group designed to start conversations about difficult issues. She moved out into destiny!

Someone who will see that play also carries inside a locked destiny. Perhaps it is the destiny designed to help us really take down sex abuse as a way of life in our culture.  That play has purpose woven into it.

One more thing Anisha did last night.  Two weeks ago she contacted me to tell me about the play. She acknowledged that it was the Advance! course that started her journey.  She invited me to participate in the evening so that she could give recognition to Connections.  Today as I explored my emotions, I was reminded of the story of Jesus healing the 10 lepers, and how 1 came back to thank Him.  Anisha was doing that - she was thanking God for helping her conquer trauma and unlock the destiny she carries.

I was one of the first to see her backstage and we held each other and cried.  She gave me the gift of seeing my walk in destiny be multiplied and bring forth fruit, because she stepped into hers.

15 year ago I made significant changes in my life to open the doors of Connections. Anisha walked through those doors, did the hard work, and now will do even more than I did. Anisha leaves in January for India where she will present the play.  Upon returning, she will share "Celebrated Silence" around the United States and unleash a movement.

I am so humbled, proud and grateful.  My cup runneth over.  Thank you Anisha!

Compassion Redefined

You've seen them - the commercials about abandoned and hurt dogs.  I have to turn them off.  Those sights and sounds tap into my compassion and compel me to go to the local SPCA.  I can't take in another dog!  The commercial is very effective.  We respond from the heart and want to fix the problem.  We are spurred into action, either we write a check, volunteer or go to the pound.

Now refocus on a news report about the latest arrest for the sexual violation of a child. You may have to turn that off as well.  And look away.  Not out of compassion, however, but out of fear and denial. We take no action at all.

This post is a call to exercise compassion in a new way!

Next time you see a report of sex abuse, or think of someone you know who has experienced the trauma, don't look away.  Look through eyes of compassion!  Silence your fears and take a hard look at what is happening around you. We are not powerless over this issue! Consider this:

1. Recognize and have compassion for the victim! Somewhere the victim is reeling.  Trying to make sense of what happened.  Wondering what to do next and how to overcome the reality of trauma.

2. Turn compassion into action!

• Write a letter to a judge or prosecutor who is involved in the news report you saw. Ask them to do everything they can to hold that perpetrator responsible.
• Attend any event you can to gain skills to be proactive and learn how to address the reality of sex abuse in our community.
• Begin to recognize how the use of language in ads or television contribute to a climate of objectifying women and children. Point it out and do something to challenge it.
• Support those of us who are on the front lines.  Provide a scholarship for counseling.  Ask what you can do to help their efforts.

Let your heart be touched by the reality of sex abuse.  

Connect to your compassion and then ACT!

Overcome a poverty mindset

Learning to" live without" is actually an overlooked impact of being victimized by sex abuse.

• The victim learns to live in silence and live without voice.
•  Losing the ability to trust means you live without connection and intimacy.  
• Realizing you are not safe in your home  means you live without a sense of well being. 
• Having your body violated, you learn to live without boundaries.

For the victim of sex abuse, this "living without" translates into developing a poverty mindset.  This mindset keeps the victim trapped in thinking "I can't have", or "I don't deserve." Couple this with the emotion of shame, and the poverty mindset becomes really strong.

Safe people around him show him love and acceptance and he can't receive it.  She is encouraged to ask for what she needs, but she doesn't.  She makes sure her children have the latest style clothes, but she won't get them for herself.  A poverty mindset at work.

Why is it important to recognize this concept?  Because a poverty mindset keeps the victim of sex abuse trapped in patterns of behaviors that reinforce the belief that she doesn't deserve.  In addition, it has the potential to set up a pattern of behavior in which the victim needs to have constant validation of worth in order to silence the whisper of her wounds.  Because the poverty mindset blocks her from internalizing the safe intimacy, and safe love offered, she must hear it again and again.  That can get tiring for the people around her.  And that can trap the victim in thinking she needs to hold onto the wound so she can hear the affirmations she needs.

Use your power of agreement and take down the poverty mindset.  Align your thinking, will and emotions with the truth that ALL human beings deserve and need love, care, nurturing and acceptance.

Message Senders

"Our feelings are always with us, but we are too seldom with them. " Daniel Goleman

Perhaps scariest of all to victims of sex abuse is the mountain of emotions perched behind walls of denial. Often a belief exists that if I don't acknowledge them, I'm okay and they don't exist.  Neither of which is true.

You are not okay - You are crippled.  You operate without the benefit of what your emotions can tell you.  You are living isolated, not able to connect with another person at the deep level of emotional intimacy that ultimately fulfills us as people.

And your emotions exist whether you acknowledge them or not.  They exist in headaches, sore backs and shoulders, ulcers and any number of physical conditions.

But that's not my focus of this post.

I want to encourage you to accept that your emotions have something to tell you.  That gut reaction you have is valid, it is your personal wealth of wisdom and judgement.  That gut reaction is not only valid, but vital to providing you with information that will guide you. Often victims of sex abuse do not trust their gut reactions.  Why?  Because the secrecy of sex abuse coupled with the facade a perpetrator lives under, messes with the victim's ability to accept her perceptions as real.

Gavin deBecker calls apprehension the "gift of fear."  This radar alerts you that something is off.  It is valuable and necessary for making choices that keep you safe.

Your emotions are your inner rudder!  You need them.  Decide to connect to them, learn from them and step fully into your life.

Stop Fighting it

The look on her face says, "That is not true. Don't say that out loud!"  And I know that we have hit a core roadblock in her restoration process.  It's an important insight.  We stop and refocus.

My goal is not to get her to accept the reality she experienced. If that becomes the focus, the battle will keep her stuck and keep us going round the same mountain over and over again.   

My goal is to help her recognize her unwillingness to accept what she already knows. It's an important distinction in focus.

I've been here many times with many victims of sex abuse.  I get it!  An entire internal system has been built for protection.  And I understand that it is scary to shift it.  I understand the need for support - that's why Connections exists!  I also understand the need for the CORRECT support if the goal is to truly overcome the impact of sex abuse trauma.

The best support I can offer is to help that victim accept her reality - the reality of the now! She decides what that is, i.e., she decides if she will accept the reality of the sex abuse, its impact upon her; or accept the reality that she won't or can't do the work of restoration. She really may be unwilling to shift her coping strategies or shift the way she thinks about herself and the world.  I need to accept that and so does she.  When we shift focus to what she is willing to accept, we can help quiet the internal conflict created in the therapy process.  Our focus can become how to live with the internal systems she has built and remain safe.

Stop fighting it?  Stop fighting knowing what you already know-on all levels.
Acceptance brings freedom!

Birthing Wisdom

"I am so excited about what you are experiencing."  I know it sounds funny when I say it. I even cringe sometimes, because I say that when I'm sitting with someone who has just understood a difficult truth about the life she has lived. 

She has paid a great cost to arrive at that truth.  It comes wrapped in pain and discomfort.  Its companion, denial, has worked hard to keep the truth from being revealed and explored. Your truth provides wisdom.  I don't know of any other way to unlock that truth than to unwrap the pain and labor through the obstacles to birth the wisdom that will set you free.

Obstacles such as denial, fear, the expectations of others and your own emotions can trick you into thinking you 'can't."  Each obstacle holds its own wisdom.

• Denial - The stance that once "protected" you, is now the doorway to the answers to the questions that keep you wondering "why?"
• Fear - A legitimate emotion that hovers over either truth of experience or unhealthy adaptations made to create a sense of safety or control.
• Expectation of others - Wisdom here is gained in being able to identify safe or unsafe people as you unpack those experiences.
• Your emotions - Provide an opportunity to explain what you are experiencing and explore deeper beliefs that drive emotional reactions.

Wisdom is found in self knowledge and self confrontation.  You hold the secrets to changing what you want to change. You can't fix what you don't know, and you can't shift what you're not willing to confront. 

Only you can decide if you are willing to do the labor of birthing your own wisdom.
I hope you do!



  

Alleged - Really?

Does it bug you like it does me?  The use of the word "alleged" when a perpetrator is identified? I understand the concept of our justice system - don't think it works well - but I understand the concept.  I don't think that the court jargon should be mandated outside the courtroom. 

An alleged victim - The alleged perpetrator - Are you serious?

We know the crime of sex abuse is shrouded in silence and secrecy.  That alone messes with someones perspective.  Then add to that the reality that the mother who volunteers at PTA, bakes cookies for the class parties and checks on the elderly neighbor is the same mother who comes in at night and molests!  Living in both worlds leaves a victim wondering if her truth is just an unfounded allegation.  Gut instincts become blurred and the loss of a major safety indicator; one's gut instincts, becomes crippled.

Don't get hung up on if your memories or experiences are validated.  That will stall your progress in restoration.  Whether it happened the way you remember or not is not the issue.  What it did to your heart and spirit is.

You know your truth!  You may never have it confirmed.  You may never have complete recall; but your know your truth!  You see the impact in your thinking, behaviors and heart. You know what happened to you.  And in that knowing, accepting it as fact, lies the power to undo the damage.

Moving obstacles out of the way!

I always try to leave home early, especially when I'm the scheduled speaker! Last night I was so glad I did.  The road I was traveling was two lanes, with one lane designated as no parking, from 4:00pm-6:00pm.  It was now 6:09pm, and there up ahead in my lane was a parked car.  Rats!

As I pulled up behind the parked car, simultaneously in the left lane a car slowed down and stopped, directly next to the parked car.  The driver valiantly tried to restart his car several times.  It became apparent that his car was disabled and he wasn't going anywhere! 

I was stunned.  For my way was totally blocked.  I could see my destination just down the road as a wave of "oh no" washed over me.  Those that know me, know that I'm a pretty determined woman.  Fierce sometimes in my determination to not give up.  Passionate in my resolve to accomplish the assignment upon my life. 

My mind began to look for solutions, for NOTHING was going to stop me from showing up to this important gathering! I got out of my car, and first wondered if I could find who owned the parked car, prepared to knock on the door of the house. Then, the driver and the passenger in the disabled car got out and came towards me. Meanwhile the backup grew and people sat in their cars, watching, probably grumbling.  Together, we decided to push his car to the side as his passenger got behind the wheel to steer.  Another man joined us, and we pushed the car out of the lane, releasing the traffic flow.

As I got back in my car I realized that now my lane was still blocked and the people who had sat unresponsive were now moving freely.  Not fair!  Once again, determined not to be stopped by the  choices and circumstances of others, I thrust my left hand out my window, used my hand as a stop sign, and forced my way over into the now moving lane.  (My Chicago driving habits kicked into gear.  Ha!) I will not be denied the movement I desire and need!

Friends, The journey to connect to authentic identity and become all you were created capable of being is much like my drive last night.  Obstacles will rise up.  Others will block and impede your progress.  Moving forward in light of that means that you dig deep, tap into your determination and desire and PUSH the obstacle out of the way!

Some people will help, some will sit complacently by the side and enjoy the benefits of your hard work.  It will be difficult, it will be challenging.  But you reap the rewards of the freedom to keep on moving and discover that you CAN!

Why was I so determined?  Because I was going to speak to a large gathering of people desiring to hear about the impact of sex abuse and find hope in restoration!  Obstacle get out of my way!  I am a woman on assignment, living out of passion and purpose!  I and those who will join me will not be denied.

What inside of you needs saving?

I could see the confusion on her 3 year old face.  Corrected for asking too many questions, she was confused, but complied and put away her curiosity.  Thus began her separation from an important part of her identity. 

I could see the confusion on his 43 year old face.  When asked what he enjoyed about his personailty he looked puzzled.  I knew that somehow and at sometime he had separated himself from really knowing and enjoying himself.

Not so unusual really.  As we grow up and experience relationship, we quickly learn what parts of our identity are acceptable and appreciated and which ones cause trouble and anxiety.  And we make adjustments appropriately.  And we lose connection to parts of ourselves.

So, what inside you was put away and needs to be saved?  It could be your determination, your joy, your desire to do or be something, your sense of humor, your creativity, your longings, even your emotions.  What about your internal make-up did you step away from?

You might be wondering, well, if I put it away, it was for a good reason. WHY would I want to reconnect to it?  Because every part of how you were created has purpose!  I believe in the Creator God who designed you and in that design He has a purpose. Everything about you, yes, even the quirky aspects of your personality, fit together to supply you with exactly what is needed for the assignment you have in this life.

I am a tenacious and determined lady!  However, when people could not control me, they would call me stubborn and unteachable.  Neither of which is true, (Okay - in total transparency, I might be stubborn sometimes.  Ha!) Although this tenacity might cause me (and others around me) problems, I absolutely must be tenacious to do the work I do! It is an important part of who I am, even if it causes be problems. 

Take the risk.  Look deeper inside you!  Listen for the whisper inside that longs to be heard. Go on the Restoration Journey and look for what needs to be saved inside you.

www.beyondrecoverytorestoration.com

We can't educate our way out of this!

The gut reactions I have are becoming stronger than my will to silence them! Whether I am speaking to a victim or to a colleague, I see the fog of passivity that has developed because we have  allowed "education" to be the focus of both our recovery and prevention efforts. 

Knowledge alone does not change the deep seated presence of sexual assault of children in our culture. Knowledge alone does not change the impact for the victim. We have to fight to rid ourselves of its presence.  We have to convert that knowledge into action! We have to declare war and unearth and change the stakes of thinking that hold this in place. 

As we watch the military rework the reporting of sexual assault within its ranks; or as we watch Congress add another law, we must not breathe a sigh of relief and think, "someone is doing something."  Because I can guarantee you - no stricter laws or changed reporting systems will actually stop sexual abuse. There are already many laws in place and structures of justice in place and they do not stop the perpetration of sex abuse.

We can't educate our way out of this one!

So, I'm declaring war!  I'm going deep - I'm diving in. I will unearth these stakes and yank them out!
Stay tuned!  Sign up for the army today!
www.stanup300.org

Restoration = multiplication

This morning I heard the statement that "Restoration is linked to multiplication."  Made me wonder, how does our Restoration Paradigm bring about multiplication?  I asked the question in two arenas.

First, how does Restoration in someone's life bring about multiplication (or increase)? And I knew the answer the minute I pondered the question.  Restoration is about reconnecting to authentic, created identity.  In that identity is the provision of all we need to live life with power and influence.  As we live out of who we were created to be and not what others say we are, God's purpose and presence is multiplied in the earth. 

Second, if restoration is linked with multiplication, why is it that our Restoration Paradigm and materials are slow to be embraced and we haven't experienced increase?  I'm baffled; why is it that when new technology is introduced, everyone runs to it - they don't question "outcomes" or "best practices" or even how much effort will it take to use this new gadget? Our Restoration materials are challenged by all those questions. Why? Perhaps the enemy who seeks to keep us all separated from our power in identity would seek to keep us from embracing the process that takes us there. Restoration is a core aspect of God's character. We will overcome and we will experience increase!

What it's all about!

Somedays I wonder what this journey I'm on is all about. I suppose that question is the fall-out from the work I do. I have both the privilege and the heaviness of hearing about some of the deepest pain anyone can endure.  And somedays I wonder what "it's" all about - can I really change the way people are treated?  Can I really help heal the damage; or shift a cultural thinking?  What is it all about?!?

And then I spend some valuable time with my young grandchildren and look into their trusting eyes and reaching arms and I know what it's all about.  I have to do the hard work of restoration, of becoming all I was created capable of being, so that they can!  I've got to leave a legacy that affords them the space in which to thrive in their authentic identity and impact the world as only they can.

Not one of us escapes hurtful words and actions that leave us wounded and sometimes scarred.  We accept the messages that lessen our value and undermine our self-respect, often redirecting our divine destiny.  We can't let that happen!  As hard as it is, we have to work to connect to the truth of who we are.

The journey is about connecting to our authentic identity to accomplish the purpose our presence provides!  And it is worth it!  My grandbaby's eyes say so.