"Our feelings are always with us, but we are too seldom with them. " Daniel Goleman
Perhaps scariest of all to victims of sex abuse is the mountain of emotions perched behind walls of denial. Often a belief exists that if I don't acknowledge them, I'm okay and they don't exist. Neither of which is true.
You are not okay - You are crippled. You operate without the benefit of what your emotions can tell you. You are living isolated, not able to connect with another person at the deep level of emotional intimacy that ultimately fulfills us as people.
And your emotions exist whether you acknowledge them or not. They exist in headaches, sore backs and shoulders, ulcers and any number of physical conditions.
But that's not my focus of this post.
I want to encourage you to accept that your emotions have something to tell you. That gut reaction you have is valid, it is your personal wealth of wisdom and judgement. That gut reaction is not only valid, but vital to providing you with information that will guide you. Often victims of sex abuse do not trust their gut reactions. Why? Because the secrecy of sex abuse coupled with the facade a perpetrator lives under, messes with the victim's ability to accept her perceptions as real.
Gavin deBecker calls apprehension the "gift of fear." This radar alerts you that something is off. It is valuable and necessary for making choices that keep you safe.
Your emotions are your inner rudder! You need them. Decide to connect to them, learn from them and step fully into your life.
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