Fighting for Destiny

I'm fighting for my destiny!  Most of my Christian life I've heard the statement, "God has a purpose and a plan for your life."  Traditionally that statement has been offered as a way to assist me to calm my emotional response to a difficult time.  Christianity has been slow to acknowledge the challenging side of living this life towards destiny. Thus, some are uncomfortable with raw emotion and questioning from the heart when life hits you hard.  "God has a purpose" is their way of saying, "please put this away and be okay."

Well, I'm not okay with what is happening to my destiny.  Some would argue that what I'm experiencing is "part of the plan; part of the testing, part of the pruning, part of the preparation"...I've heard them all. And indeed, the journey has had elements of all of these. I know because when they were happening to me, I would seek the heart of my Father and He would gently instruct me and show me the purpose of the situation.  One time during the journey I even asked to "walk with a limp" because I wanted to have a personal close encounter of becoming me, like Jacob did when he wrestled with the angel. 

I've been walking in my destiny, grasping tightly to the promises with the hope of seeing them fulfilled in my lifetime.  Right now I'm in danger of seeing the promise slip through my fingertips.  And the emotion is raw.  And the questioning is from the heart.  And my Father reassures me that the threat of having to take a step backwards is not part of His intended plan and journey for me.  It is an attack from the enemy. It is not part of God's plan...and yet I'm experiencing it. 

Niether is the trauma of sex abuse part of His plan for ANYONE!   It is an evil perpetrated from the enemy's camp.  It is designed to separate you from your full capacity as one created with a Kingdom purpose. 

So what do we do when our purpose in destiny is thwarted?  We fight!  We set our face like flint even with our emotions raw and raging.  We allow for the safe expression of those emotions with safe people and with the heart of the Father.  We keep moving.  We keep seeking direction.  We worship and praise!  And we fight! 

You can't be a survivor without being a victim.

We don't like being called a victim - and yet the person touched by sex abuse is that - a victim. Saying "I'm a survivor" is not more empowering than saying "I'm a victim".  Victims have more power to get freedom than survivors do because victims remain in touch with the reality of the trauma impact.  When the victim quickly becomes a survivor and jumps from the point of impact directly to claiming the status of being a survivor, they jump over a whole set of emtoions, needs, thought processes and confusion.  One can't become a survivor without knowing what they survived - you have to know the impact and work that through!