I Saw Her Become

I'd been weeping most of the morning when I finally followed my own advise, and asked, "why am I so emotional?"  I knew that attending the play, "Celebrated Silence" last night had moved me.  But, come on, I know the impact of groping and what it does to lives. Why was it echoing inside me still?
I remember the day Anisha, sitting in our Advance! course, asked me, "Is groping really sex abuse?" "Absolutely!" I replied. "Sex abuse is about what it does to someones heart and soul." Anisha looked at me with shock. The worksheets were revelation to her as she began to uncover the deep impact of realizing how having been groped had shifted her thinking and behavior patterns.  Anisha completed the course.

When I went on my own restoration journey years ago, I stepped into my destiny and Connections was birthed.  My passion lies in giving victims of sex abuse tools to conquer the impact of trauma and move into living out of authentic identity where destiny lies.

Last night, I watched Anisha walk into destiny!  And I was shaken at my core.  My tears were not about the reality she shared, as challenging as the content was.  But my tears were at seeing someone do the hard work of restoration, reclaim their authentic identity and walk into purpose.

You see, she wrote and starred in the play.  "Celebrated Silence" is about the personal damage of groping and offers a challenge to each of us, who in our denial of outrage, celebrates keeping victims silent. Through restoration she unlocked her passion.  She left her profession as a doctor and established All Shades Theater, a theater group designed to start conversations about difficult issues. She moved out into destiny!

Someone who will see that play also carries inside a locked destiny. Perhaps it is the destiny designed to help us really take down sex abuse as a way of life in our culture.  That play has purpose woven into it.

One more thing Anisha did last night.  Two weeks ago she contacted me to tell me about the play. She acknowledged that it was the Advance! course that started her journey.  She invited me to participate in the evening so that she could give recognition to Connections.  Today as I explored my emotions, I was reminded of the story of Jesus healing the 10 lepers, and how 1 came back to thank Him.  Anisha was doing that - she was thanking God for helping her conquer trauma and unlock the destiny she carries.

I was one of the first to see her backstage and we held each other and cried.  She gave me the gift of seeing my walk in destiny be multiplied and bring forth fruit, because she stepped into hers.

15 year ago I made significant changes in my life to open the doors of Connections. Anisha walked through those doors, did the hard work, and now will do even more than I did. Anisha leaves in January for India where she will present the play.  Upon returning, she will share "Celebrated Silence" around the United States and unleash a movement.

I am so humbled, proud and grateful.  My cup runneth over.  Thank you Anisha!

Destiny is Purpose Fulfilled

Remember the question, "What do you want to be when you grow up?"  Did you want to be that fireman, or that nurse?  I wanted to be a teacher, mostly because I thought it was the only option for me.  I had no concept of authentic identity or the idea that I carried within me a recipe for what I should be.  And then I met victims of childhood sex abuse and discovered through their desire to overcome, the concept of being restored to authentic identity.

Each of us has experiences in life that cause us to make adaptations in what we believe about self. These beliefs overshadow the truth of who we were created to be.  The victim of sex abuse may believe they are disgusting and disconnect from a sense of value. The person who thinks creatively may disconnect from that attribute believing it gets them in trouble.  The person who is curious disconnects from that attribute because people get tired of dealing with it.  Yet, all of those characteristics are absolutely part of what makes that person whole.  AND those attributes are exactly what are needed to accomplish destiny, or the purpose of one's life.  Your internal blueprint, your authentic identity, holds the key to walking in destiny.

The title of the recent bestseller, "The Purpose Driven Life", resounds with the desire we all have:  to live a life that has purpose and meaning.  It is natural to want to make an impact, to accomplish something that brings a sense of fulfillment. You were designed with purpose in mind.  Your authentic identity contains everything you need to do just that.

Unfortunately, often we end up living out of fate.  Fate is the path we take that is defined by the circumstances we live.  Destiny is the path we take defined by our authentic identity.

It takes hard work to override some circumstances. Poverty, neglect and sex abuse are circumstances that can be very challenging to override.  Restoration skills, such as recognizing the impact, recognizing your internal strengths, internalizing new truths, and using your power of agreement can absolutely shift you from fate to destiny!

And that means you live a purpose driven life!

The Courage to be You!

I'm reading a book by Mark Nepo, Finding Inner Courage, and I'm struck with his understanding of what true courage is.  He says, "The word courage comes from the Latin cor, which literally means heart.  The original use of the word courage means to stand by one's core."  No wonder I'm drawn to this book!

I love that definition!  In the language of restoration it reflects our concept of reconnecting to authentic identity.  Simultaneously I see two pictures of what that means.  First, I see myself drawn to that core, intrigued, standing by it, discovering it, embracing it and protecting it.   And I recognize the courage that it takes to do that exploration.  All the things that have "shaped" my life have left behind a definition of what the world assigned to me as who I am.  And yet, beyond that is the true me.  Pushing through others expectations and definitions to discover me is costly, risky and hard work- it takes courage!

Secondly I see myself standing by my core, living out of what I've uncovered! Immediately I feel the peace and joy of living from authentic identity.  It means that the things I attempt are managed with the power that lies in knowing fully what I bring to the table. Living out of my core means I know my limitations, I know my strengths and I live in that balance without fear or regret.And it takes courage to do that, especially when others object. 

The best part of standing by one's core and living out of authentic identity?  Because I believe that my authentic identity was created with the heart and handprint of God, I'm living out of the intimacy provided in that connection.  And I feel loved, accepted and powerful!

 

Peace in Restoration

Yesterday morning, as I was driving to witness the recording of a song written for Connections, I was in touch with a deep abiding place of peace, contentment and expectation.  I was reminded about the scriptural teaching that says God provides the "peace that passes all understanding".  I began to sink into that concept from a Restoration perspective.

At that moment, in my car, thinking about where I was going, I knew that this act was yet another step in walking out my destiny.  Fifteen years ago I made the first step to open Connections, without money and without participants.  I had a vision and passion and a friend who said she would make the journey with me.  My entire life changed.  I became single again, expereinced my parents walking away, finances became a continual struggle, and I went back to school.  And I found me!

At the core of who I am is the passion to enable people to become all they were created to be and step into their destiny.  I did not know that Sandra had been writing and singing for years with the dream of recording a song and becoming the artist she knows she is.  When our paths crossed, Sandra, without expecting anything in return, wrote, "I Won't Let it Own Me", a song that epitomizes the message of Restoration.  She had no idea that Connections would be able to pay for the recording and start-up distirubtion of that song.  She stepped into destiny when she willinging allowed God to use her passion for His purpose.

Yesterday, I knew that the provision I was bringing to the recording of that song was directly unlocking Sandra's destiny while fulfilling mine.  Part of my destiny is to assist in the unlocking of the potential in others.  The peace and contentment I felt was in the knowing that my restored identity was accomplishing its purpose. Not everything has changed in my situation.  I'm still single, still out of touch with my parents, and still financially challenged.  But the peace and contentment of being connected to my God created identity and walking in destiny is unexplainable and so very awe-inspiring it takes my breath away.  Thats "the peace that passes all understanding."

What it's all about!

Somedays I wonder what this journey I'm on is all about. I suppose that question is the fall-out from the work I do. I have both the privilege and the heaviness of hearing about some of the deepest pain anyone can endure.  And somedays I wonder what "it's" all about - can I really change the way people are treated?  Can I really help heal the damage; or shift a cultural thinking?  What is it all about?!?

And then I spend some valuable time with my young grandchildren and look into their trusting eyes and reaching arms and I know what it's all about.  I have to do the hard work of restoration, of becoming all I was created capable of being, so that they can!  I've got to leave a legacy that affords them the space in which to thrive in their authentic identity and impact the world as only they can.

Not one of us escapes hurtful words and actions that leave us wounded and sometimes scarred.  We accept the messages that lessen our value and undermine our self-respect, often redirecting our divine destiny.  We can't let that happen!  As hard as it is, we have to work to connect to the truth of who we are.

The journey is about connecting to our authentic identity to accomplish the purpose our presence provides!  And it is worth it!  My grandbaby's eyes say so.