Trauma: Unraveling Truth and Reality

She arrives wearing baggy sweat pants and over sized shirts, and I know she is living out of the "truth" she has assigned to her sense of self.  She is walking in what she believes is her truth. Actually, it isn't true that she is shameful or damaged goods. However, out of the reality of experiencing sexual trauma, she has developed a "truth" that directs the way she carries herself.

Truth and reality get confused, especially for the victim of trauma. 

I define truth as the concepts and thoughts that move you closer to a sense of freedom, hope, purpose and destiny. Truth is about knowing the accuracy in spite of what the reality of events may tell you.  Have you ever talked to a person who is color blind? He often experiences the color red as shades of gray. His reality is that ‘red’ is experienced as ‘gray’. The truth, however, is red is really a different color. His experience and therefore his reality does not have the power to change the color red to gray. The person with color blindness learns to distinguish the difference between the truth and his reality and often seeks help in coordinating his wardrobe.

I define reality as a state of affairs; something that exists independently of things concerning it.  Reality is about knowing what has happened or is happening. Those events that just are.

Distinguishing between truth and reality can be difficult, but so important in untangling the impact of sexual trauma. Trauma happens and we tell ourselves something as a result - something that may not be truth even when it feels as if it is.  

Consider completing this fill in the blank about something in your life:

Reflecting back on my life I can see that my reality consisted of: ______________________

_____________________________________________________________________________.

Which caused me to believe that my truth is: _____________________________________________

______________________________________________________. But if I look deeper I can see

that the truth behind my reality is _____________________________________________________

and not ________________________________________________________________________.

Here is an example that might help you sort this out:

Reflecting back on my life I can see that my reality consisted of sexual trauma.  Which caused me to believe that my truth is that I'm bad and shameful.  But if I look deeper I can see that the truth behind my reality is that something bad happened to me and not that I am bad.

Once you untangle the reality and identify the truth, you make the decision to align your power away from the lie formed from trauma towards the truth that brings freedom!

The Ultimate Revenge

The Ultimate Revenge
It's a normal reaction and question.  We ask it when someone we love dies.  We ask it when there is a terrible accident.  And the victim of sex abuse asks it in the journey to restoration.  "WHY?"  

Sometimes people are quick to offer an answer.  Things like, "He was drunk", "You were an affectionate kid" or "She was a pervert". None of those answers bring any relief, and actually create deeper harm.  

There is no answer to the question, "Why did he do it?" that will make any sense or bring any satisfaction. There is no good answer.  There is no solid response as to why that will help you feel better.

Focusing on that question will keep you stuck. It's like seeing a mountain in front of you that blocks the view.  It stands in your way of progress. When you continually ask, "Why?", you remain tied to the abuser in a way that prevents you from moving through to processing the real impact: the beliefs born of trauma and the emotional pain.  As long as you stay focused on a question that can't be answered and provides no sense of relief, you remain in the fallout of trauma and the abuser wins!  He or she is still in control!  How?  Because the beliefs, thoughts and emotions hide behind that unanswerable question and control your behaviors and wreck havoc in your life.

You can have the last word!  You can have the ultimate revenge!  That revenge is moving beyond the "why's" to exploring how sex abuse impacted you; take down the destructive beliefs born of trauma, and become all you were created capable of being.  When you do the hard work of shifting beliefs and using your power of agreement, and walk in the freedom of you - the abuser loses control!  

It's the ultimate revenge!  Become who you were created to be!

You are in your Suddenly

I caught a news clip this morning about a country band that is having its “suddenly.”  The band members started their suddenly journey when they were 17; they are now in their 30’s!  And suddenly they were nominated for a Grammy.

It started me thinking.  My first thought was:  “I’m still waiting for my suddenly.”  My second thought:  “I have had lots of suddenlies on the way.”  (Is that a word?)

I think this speaks to the challenge of making goals.  I’ve been taught to create audacious goals to set the course.  The guru’s of success talk about setting goals.  I have to write them for my not-for-profit and for the people I serve.  I see the value in them.  Goals are great, because they help keep me focused.   However, what I’m thinking this morning is that they also set me up.  Because I’ve described what the ultimate “suddenly” would look like – I’ve overlooked the suddenlies on the way.

I can recall the day I knew that I could no longer be what that person needed me to be.  It was a suddenly – that had been developing for quite awhile. 

I can recall the day I knew that my parents were not safe people for me.  It was a suddenly – that had been unfolding in my awareness for years.

I can recall the day I knew that I couldn’t go back to old thinking or behaviors.  It was a suddenly – that had been brewing for quite some time.

We all want a “suddenly.”  My thought for you:  you are in the middle of one!

This morning I celebrated the “suddenlies” of my journey – knowing I will get there – suddenly!

Be your own Hero

Over the holiday I watched a movie (twice actually!) called, "The Four Minute Mile" that reflected the paradigm about authentic identity that I breathe and live.  In short, it is about a young boy in a difficult family dynamic who loves to run and aspires to be great at it.  He connects to a coach who sees he has been trying to run the wrong race and helps him grasp that he is designed to run the mile, not the 400.  He calls forth identity in this young man.

As the young man is training and attempting to connect to the ability to run the mile, the coach says to him:

      "You got something so deep in there.  Face that fear and beat it.  If you face that fear
        it will change your life.  It will be the hardest thing to do.  There will be the moment
        you can't breathe. Push through it!  It's beautiful!"

Oh my!  This is the restoration journey!  Finding what you were created to be, identifying the obstacles, and pushing through to the beautiful place of "being".

This week at Connections we are looking at being your own hero.  That's what it means!
A hero is someone who goes through a great change!  Reconnecting to authentic identity is that great change!  Facing whatever is in the way and plowing through it is the key!

As we start this new year my deep desire for us all is that we become our own hero!

Let's journey together and do it!

I Saw Her Become

I'd been weeping most of the morning when I finally followed my own advise, and asked, "why am I so emotional?"  I knew that attending the play, "Celebrated Silence" last night had moved me.  But, come on, I know the impact of groping and what it does to lives. Why was it echoing inside me still?
I remember the day Anisha, sitting in our Advance! course, asked me, "Is groping really sex abuse?" "Absolutely!" I replied. "Sex abuse is about what it does to someones heart and soul." Anisha looked at me with shock. The worksheets were revelation to her as she began to uncover the deep impact of realizing how having been groped had shifted her thinking and behavior patterns.  Anisha completed the course.

When I went on my own restoration journey years ago, I stepped into my destiny and Connections was birthed.  My passion lies in giving victims of sex abuse tools to conquer the impact of trauma and move into living out of authentic identity where destiny lies.

Last night, I watched Anisha walk into destiny!  And I was shaken at my core.  My tears were not about the reality she shared, as challenging as the content was.  But my tears were at seeing someone do the hard work of restoration, reclaim their authentic identity and walk into purpose.

You see, she wrote and starred in the play.  "Celebrated Silence" is about the personal damage of groping and offers a challenge to each of us, who in our denial of outrage, celebrates keeping victims silent. Through restoration she unlocked her passion.  She left her profession as a doctor and established All Shades Theater, a theater group designed to start conversations about difficult issues. She moved out into destiny!

Someone who will see that play also carries inside a locked destiny. Perhaps it is the destiny designed to help us really take down sex abuse as a way of life in our culture.  That play has purpose woven into it.

One more thing Anisha did last night.  Two weeks ago she contacted me to tell me about the play. She acknowledged that it was the Advance! course that started her journey.  She invited me to participate in the evening so that she could give recognition to Connections.  Today as I explored my emotions, I was reminded of the story of Jesus healing the 10 lepers, and how 1 came back to thank Him.  Anisha was doing that - she was thanking God for helping her conquer trauma and unlock the destiny she carries.

I was one of the first to see her backstage and we held each other and cried.  She gave me the gift of seeing my walk in destiny be multiplied and bring forth fruit, because she stepped into hers.

15 year ago I made significant changes in my life to open the doors of Connections. Anisha walked through those doors, did the hard work, and now will do even more than I did. Anisha leaves in January for India where she will present the play.  Upon returning, she will share "Celebrated Silence" around the United States and unleash a movement.

I am so humbled, proud and grateful.  My cup runneth over.  Thank you Anisha!

I don't need these anymore!

"I have something to give you," she said as she withdrew these rocks from her purse.  "Remember when we did that activity with writing the negative things we believed about our self?  These are from that activity; I saved them. I've held on to them and felt the heaviness of them. But I don't need them anymore - I've shifted these beliefs, they don't belong to me!"

AWESOME!  We celebrated and congratulated her!

It absolutely is possible to conquer the impact of childhood sex abuse!  Utilizing the tools of Restoration, you can be restored to your authentic identity and become all you were created capable of being.  The core tools are:

Recognize:  Work on hearing what you say and what you do that stems from trauma, and see the impact of sex abuse playing out in your life.  Recognize the negative messages and the positive messages.

Power of Agreement: Whatever you agree with, your energy and focus empowers.  You have the power to shift from aligning with negative beliefs to aligning with positive beliefs.

Internalize:  That means you intentionally make a part of your thinking the positives and the truths necessary to defeat the thinking that negates and hurts you.

Exchange:  When you've recognized the negative, and been exposed to the alternate positives, you consciously exchange the old for the new.

Responsibility:  Ultimately you have to take responsibility to do this hard work.  Only you can do it!

Our Advance! Workbook gives you a taste of how to utilize these tools. I'm excited to tell you that now, if you don't live in the Cincinnati area to participate in our group - you can now GET THE COURSE ON LINE!

Check out the free video and worksheet and order it here:  CLICK HERE

Destiny is Purpose Fulfilled

Remember the question, "What do you want to be when you grow up?"  Did you want to be that fireman, or that nurse?  I wanted to be a teacher, mostly because I thought it was the only option for me.  I had no concept of authentic identity or the idea that I carried within me a recipe for what I should be.  And then I met victims of childhood sex abuse and discovered through their desire to overcome, the concept of being restored to authentic identity.

Each of us has experiences in life that cause us to make adaptations in what we believe about self. These beliefs overshadow the truth of who we were created to be.  The victim of sex abuse may believe they are disgusting and disconnect from a sense of value. The person who thinks creatively may disconnect from that attribute believing it gets them in trouble.  The person who is curious disconnects from that attribute because people get tired of dealing with it.  Yet, all of those characteristics are absolutely part of what makes that person whole.  AND those attributes are exactly what are needed to accomplish destiny, or the purpose of one's life.  Your internal blueprint, your authentic identity, holds the key to walking in destiny.

The title of the recent bestseller, "The Purpose Driven Life", resounds with the desire we all have:  to live a life that has purpose and meaning.  It is natural to want to make an impact, to accomplish something that brings a sense of fulfillment. You were designed with purpose in mind.  Your authentic identity contains everything you need to do just that.

Unfortunately, often we end up living out of fate.  Fate is the path we take that is defined by the circumstances we live.  Destiny is the path we take defined by our authentic identity.

It takes hard work to override some circumstances. Poverty, neglect and sex abuse are circumstances that can be very challenging to override.  Restoration skills, such as recognizing the impact, recognizing your internal strengths, internalizing new truths, and using your power of agreement can absolutely shift you from fate to destiny!

And that means you live a purpose driven life!

Change your mind

I remember saying it to her - "Make a different choice."  She looked at me kind of shocked, almost offended looking (don't worry, it wasn't one of my ladies at Connections!)  I realized several things in that moment.  First, she didn't understand she could make a different choice.  And secondly, she didn't know what her options were.

It made me stop and reflect about how we make our choices.  What information do we use?  Often I think we make a choice based on our experiences and what we've interpreted them to be.

• If your experiences have been the trauma of sex abuse, and you've interpreted that to mean that you are shame, your choices will be made from that perspective.  But is that really true?
• If you've had trouble in school, and you've interpreted that to mean that you are not smart, your choices will be made from that perspective.  But is that really true?

One of our exercises in our Advance! Workbook requires the reader to explore this concept.  What is the distinction between reality and truth?  Here's what happens:  You have an event or experience  (realty), you interpret the event and assign a meaning to it that you live out of, (your truth); except your assigned truth may not be the truth at all!

An example:  Reality/event: I was molested.  Assigned truth:  I'm disgusting.  Truth:  Something disgusting happened, I'm not disgusting. 

An example:  Reality: a little girl is at her dance recital watching for her parents.  They don't show up.  Assigned truth:  "I don't matter."  Truth:  Her parents were delayed by a traffic accident.

When you separate it out and recognize your assigned truth vs. the truth of the situation, you can then use your power of agreement and align with the truth, not the destructive assigned truth that is impacting your life. I'm often asked, how do I know it's truth? Our definition of truth: truth is defined as the concepts and thoughts that move you closer to a sense of freedom, hope, purpose and destiny. Truth is about knowing the accuracy in spite of what the reality of events may tell you. 

You absolutely can change your mind!  You have a choice! Choosing the truth will lead to new freedom to make different choices! That's power!  That's truth!

Can we shift the story we live in?

The women gathered around the table were of varying generations and perspectives.  It was an eclectic looking group with one goal: create a follow-up event to a recent "Status of Women" expo.  Our first task was to select a focus for the event, i.e., around what topic would we build?

When the brainstorming session began I was struck with an understanding that each suggestion was framed around the individual stories that each woman carried.  Each brought to the table the "story" either assigned to her by culture or applied to her by experience. The suggestions focused on what had happened to women.  I could feel the room drain from hope to gloom. 

So I opened my mouth and spun a different story.  "Can't we create a different conversation?  What if we shift our stories to focus on the strengths of women, the core qualities and positive aspects of women rather than stay under the labels and barriers?"  They were stunned.  And the hope rose in the room.

The stories we tell, and the stories we invest in create the framework for how we conduct our lives.  They either confine us or create possibility.

It's the difference between fate and destiny.  Perhaps you've heard me talk about this before.  Fate is the path that we take when we allow circumstances to define us.  Destiny is the path we take when we shift the story by living out of the strengths of our identity.

Restoration is about identifying the restraints of story and shifting them.  It's about changing the relationship you have with "the story".  It's about fighting back, standing up and saying, "I will not be confined by your perspective or actions." 

You absolutely can shift the story in which you live!

Denial is not a safe place

Some things are really hard to know and accept as reality.  Who among us really wants to be faced with the ugliness and hurt of the world? Sex abuse falls into that category of "I don't want to know."  It is extremely difficult to acknowledge that it is present in our world - or even more difficult to acknowledge that it might have been in your world. 

That's why we so often choose denial!  It appears that denial brings relief from feeling the pain of an intolerable truth.  It appears that denial insulates you from being hurt again.  And it appears that through the glasses of denial you can move successfully through life.

And for a time, denial may accomplish all those things.  But not really.

The truth is still there, impacting your beliefs and thus your behaviors.  The emotions are still there, perhaps causing you digestive problems or severe headaches.  And most challenging, the thinking and behaviors adopted in trauma, and often not recognized, actually create vulnerability in your life.  Denial does not keep you safe. What do I mean? 

• Suppose you choose to deny the disregard you experienced in sex abuse. You now have no radar to recognize when you might be experiencing disregard in current relationships.
• Suppose you choose to deny that Uncle Jim molested you.  You now have no power to stay away from either the Uncle or anyone else who is unsafe.

Choosing to come out of denial and "know what you already know", provides power to live in authenticity. Knowledge is power.  That knowledge equips you to make decisions based on truth. You can make decisions that create safety and honor the value of you. Fears that may have haunted you are understood and conquered. The truth does set you free - to be a powerful you!

Stay on the Path

Yesterday I took down the Christmas tree and "officially" closed the holiday season in my home.  I now face January; the start of 2014.  I'm standing at the head of a path, peering down into a new year and wondering.

Before me I see possibility and challenges. Sometimes more challenges than possibility!  I have a choice to make:  Do I focus on that looming challenging mountain, or do I look through the mountain to embrace and push through to reach the possibility?  Can I muster what it will take to overcome?  Where do I find the strength and hope needed to get through the obstacles I will face? 

And the answer resonates within my heart:  In my authentic identity!

I was created with a deep determination and an "I won't stop" attitude.  I also was created with a heart for God and a connection to His leading.  I determine today to tap into those aspects of my identity. That will give me what I need to stay on the path in 2014!

Join me in entering 2014 and keep in mind these things:
1.  Who you were created to be is exactly what you need to maneuver through what lies ahead.
2.  Don't let the obstacles ahead draw you off the path of your destiny!  Stand your ground.  Fight for it! Whatever is on your path is yours to overcome!  In overcoming you develop the key to open the next door to destiny.
3.  Don't settle and rest in the negative oppression of what you know or experience.  You were created for more and have what it takes to move into the new!  Your inheritance is secured on the path.
4.  When faced with a crossroad, be still, recalculate, look at the consequences and rewards at the junction.  Contemplate, reflect and choose with wisdom and strength.  Then you can move forward in confidence.

I will journey with you!  Stay connected! 
Happy New Year - Stay on the Path!

Carrying the Broken Pieces

I've got an idea about what I want to share with you.  I have a picture in my mind that I'm trying to describe - but when I ponder it, I experience a heaviness of heart that slows me down; because I know the picture is so real for so many people, including me.

None of us are perfect parents or siblings.  And none of us are perfect friends, wives or husbands. That leaves each of us, with at the very least, wounds of heart and more likely, broken pieces of self. Most of us hardly acknowledge the broken pieces.  We put one foot in front of the other, meeting the expectations of life and just keep going. Carrying the broken pieces of ourselves with us as if there is no alternative.

The picture I'm pondering is just that. Unacknowledged disregard, the unexpressed emotional pain of rejection; the secret of sex abuse and its accompanying impact. All broken pieces carried inside.  The heaviness of that burden robs us of joy, contentment, connection and fulfillment.

I want to shift that picture.  You can shift that picture. It hurts more to not acknowledge and process your reality than it does to know your reality and move through it fully engaged. That is a truth I understand personally and professionally.

Oh my!  As I envision all of us advancing through restoration and healing the broken pieces of self, the picture does change.  And our world changes as all the amazing aspects of you are reinstated, they become available to unlock the treasure you carry.  You have a unique contribution we all need!

The core skills of restoration:  recognizing, internalizing, the power of agreement and responsibility are the tools to change the broken pieces into wholeness.  Join us as we journey.  We need the treasure of you!

I'm taking names!

I'm taking names and making a list!  And it's a good list!  Be encouraged! My last blog post focused on wrestling with why people are slow to respond to stopping sex abuse.  I took that discussion to Linked-In and have discovered a group of people who are passionate and ready to go!  Their names and their thoughts are now compiled.

The thoughts about "why" are enlightening and right on.  Fear, apathy, the Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde nature of those who abuse, cultural views of children and much more.  I'm pondering this list, looking for the connections and identifying tangible starting places. 

The sense of being powerless has permeated our culture.  The issues of our day seem to huge for us to address.  Fear partnes with denial and a culture of complacency develops.  And we believe the lie that there is nothing we can do.

We are not powerless!

We are a creative people!  We are a strong people!  We design the culture in which we live!

I am determined to gather these creative and strong people and ignite this movement! One major advantage of social media and the connections that develop is that suddenly a collective voice can organize across a nation.  Sense the strength in connecting this way!  Sense the power that will be unleashed!  We are organizing, getting focused and we are taking down this insidious presence!

Want your name on my list?  Just let me know!

Moving obstacles out of the way!

I always try to leave home early, especially when I'm the scheduled speaker! Last night I was so glad I did.  The road I was traveling was two lanes, with one lane designated as no parking, from 4:00pm-6:00pm.  It was now 6:09pm, and there up ahead in my lane was a parked car.  Rats!

As I pulled up behind the parked car, simultaneously in the left lane a car slowed down and stopped, directly next to the parked car.  The driver valiantly tried to restart his car several times.  It became apparent that his car was disabled and he wasn't going anywhere! 

I was stunned.  For my way was totally blocked.  I could see my destination just down the road as a wave of "oh no" washed over me.  Those that know me, know that I'm a pretty determined woman.  Fierce sometimes in my determination to not give up.  Passionate in my resolve to accomplish the assignment upon my life. 

My mind began to look for solutions, for NOTHING was going to stop me from showing up to this important gathering! I got out of my car, and first wondered if I could find who owned the parked car, prepared to knock on the door of the house. Then, the driver and the passenger in the disabled car got out and came towards me. Meanwhile the backup grew and people sat in their cars, watching, probably grumbling.  Together, we decided to push his car to the side as his passenger got behind the wheel to steer.  Another man joined us, and we pushed the car out of the lane, releasing the traffic flow.

As I got back in my car I realized that now my lane was still blocked and the people who had sat unresponsive were now moving freely.  Not fair!  Once again, determined not to be stopped by the  choices and circumstances of others, I thrust my left hand out my window, used my hand as a stop sign, and forced my way over into the now moving lane.  (My Chicago driving habits kicked into gear.  Ha!) I will not be denied the movement I desire and need!

Friends, The journey to connect to authentic identity and become all you were created capable of being is much like my drive last night.  Obstacles will rise up.  Others will block and impede your progress.  Moving forward in light of that means that you dig deep, tap into your determination and desire and PUSH the obstacle out of the way!

Some people will help, some will sit complacently by the side and enjoy the benefits of your hard work.  It will be difficult, it will be challenging.  But you reap the rewards of the freedom to keep on moving and discover that you CAN!

Why was I so determined?  Because I was going to speak to a large gathering of people desiring to hear about the impact of sex abuse and find hope in restoration!  Obstacle get out of my way!  I am a woman on assignment, living out of passion and purpose!  I and those who will join me will not be denied.

What inside of you needs saving?

I could see the confusion on her 3 year old face.  Corrected for asking too many questions, she was confused, but complied and put away her curiosity.  Thus began her separation from an important part of her identity. 

I could see the confusion on his 43 year old face.  When asked what he enjoyed about his personailty he looked puzzled.  I knew that somehow and at sometime he had separated himself from really knowing and enjoying himself.

Not so unusual really.  As we grow up and experience relationship, we quickly learn what parts of our identity are acceptable and appreciated and which ones cause trouble and anxiety.  And we make adjustments appropriately.  And we lose connection to parts of ourselves.

So, what inside you was put away and needs to be saved?  It could be your determination, your joy, your desire to do or be something, your sense of humor, your creativity, your longings, even your emotions.  What about your internal make-up did you step away from?

You might be wondering, well, if I put it away, it was for a good reason. WHY would I want to reconnect to it?  Because every part of how you were created has purpose!  I believe in the Creator God who designed you and in that design He has a purpose. Everything about you, yes, even the quirky aspects of your personality, fit together to supply you with exactly what is needed for the assignment you have in this life.

I am a tenacious and determined lady!  However, when people could not control me, they would call me stubborn and unteachable.  Neither of which is true, (Okay - in total transparency, I might be stubborn sometimes.  Ha!) Although this tenacity might cause me (and others around me) problems, I absolutely must be tenacious to do the work I do! It is an important part of who I am, even if it causes be problems. 

Take the risk.  Look deeper inside you!  Listen for the whisper inside that longs to be heard. Go on the Restoration Journey and look for what needs to be saved inside you.

www.beyondrecoverytorestoration.com

Put aside the story assigned to you!

Her eyes tell me she doesn't fully grasp what I'm sharing.  As a young child she was repeatedly molested by family members and she has deep beliefs about her value and who she is.  Hearing that she isn't what happened to her - that the story the molester assigned to her isn't hers - rocks her foundation.

The beliefs based on trauma are so deep that she feels threatened when I offer an alternative.  I get it.  We build our relationships and our world based on internal capacities defined by our experiences.  And it limits us and how we interact and move.  When I suggest that there is more to her, she feels rattled and wonders about this hope.  Can she really become all she was created to be?

Hope comes in strange packages.  It can come in a song, in a whisper from your heart, or in the words of a speaker.  Hearing it is not enough.  The next step is up to you.  What will you do with the hope offered?  Will you explore it?  Will you do the hard work of internalizing it and shifting what you think? 

Put aside the stories others have written for you and discover who you really are!

Peace in Restoration

Yesterday morning, as I was driving to witness the recording of a song written for Connections, I was in touch with a deep abiding place of peace, contentment and expectation.  I was reminded about the scriptural teaching that says God provides the "peace that passes all understanding".  I began to sink into that concept from a Restoration perspective.

At that moment, in my car, thinking about where I was going, I knew that this act was yet another step in walking out my destiny.  Fifteen years ago I made the first step to open Connections, without money and without participants.  I had a vision and passion and a friend who said she would make the journey with me.  My entire life changed.  I became single again, expereinced my parents walking away, finances became a continual struggle, and I went back to school.  And I found me!

At the core of who I am is the passion to enable people to become all they were created to be and step into their destiny.  I did not know that Sandra had been writing and singing for years with the dream of recording a song and becoming the artist she knows she is.  When our paths crossed, Sandra, without expecting anything in return, wrote, "I Won't Let it Own Me", a song that epitomizes the message of Restoration.  She had no idea that Connections would be able to pay for the recording and start-up distirubtion of that song.  She stepped into destiny when she willinging allowed God to use her passion for His purpose.

Yesterday, I knew that the provision I was bringing to the recording of that song was directly unlocking Sandra's destiny while fulfilling mine.  Part of my destiny is to assist in the unlocking of the potential in others.  The peace and contentment I felt was in the knowing that my restored identity was accomplishing its purpose. Not everything has changed in my situation.  I'm still single, still out of touch with my parents, and still financially challenged.  But the peace and contentment of being connected to my God created identity and walking in destiny is unexplainable and so very awe-inspiring it takes my breath away.  Thats "the peace that passes all understanding."