I'm taking names!

I'm taking names and making a list!  And it's a good list!  Be encouraged! My last blog post focused on wrestling with why people are slow to respond to stopping sex abuse.  I took that discussion to Linked-In and have discovered a group of people who are passionate and ready to go!  Their names and their thoughts are now compiled.

The thoughts about "why" are enlightening and right on.  Fear, apathy, the Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde nature of those who abuse, cultural views of children and much more.  I'm pondering this list, looking for the connections and identifying tangible starting places. 

The sense of being powerless has permeated our culture.  The issues of our day seem to huge for us to address.  Fear partnes with denial and a culture of complacency develops.  And we believe the lie that there is nothing we can do.

We are not powerless!

We are a creative people!  We are a strong people!  We design the culture in which we live!

I am determined to gather these creative and strong people and ignite this movement! One major advantage of social media and the connections that develop is that suddenly a collective voice can organize across a nation.  Sense the strength in connecting this way!  Sense the power that will be unleashed!  We are organizing, getting focused and we are taking down this insidious presence!

Want your name on my list?  Just let me know!

Moving obstacles out of the way!

I always try to leave home early, especially when I'm the scheduled speaker! Last night I was so glad I did.  The road I was traveling was two lanes, with one lane designated as no parking, from 4:00pm-6:00pm.  It was now 6:09pm, and there up ahead in my lane was a parked car.  Rats!

As I pulled up behind the parked car, simultaneously in the left lane a car slowed down and stopped, directly next to the parked car.  The driver valiantly tried to restart his car several times.  It became apparent that his car was disabled and he wasn't going anywhere! 

I was stunned.  For my way was totally blocked.  I could see my destination just down the road as a wave of "oh no" washed over me.  Those that know me, know that I'm a pretty determined woman.  Fierce sometimes in my determination to not give up.  Passionate in my resolve to accomplish the assignment upon my life. 

My mind began to look for solutions, for NOTHING was going to stop me from showing up to this important gathering! I got out of my car, and first wondered if I could find who owned the parked car, prepared to knock on the door of the house. Then, the driver and the passenger in the disabled car got out and came towards me. Meanwhile the backup grew and people sat in their cars, watching, probably grumbling.  Together, we decided to push his car to the side as his passenger got behind the wheel to steer.  Another man joined us, and we pushed the car out of the lane, releasing the traffic flow.

As I got back in my car I realized that now my lane was still blocked and the people who had sat unresponsive were now moving freely.  Not fair!  Once again, determined not to be stopped by the  choices and circumstances of others, I thrust my left hand out my window, used my hand as a stop sign, and forced my way over into the now moving lane.  (My Chicago driving habits kicked into gear.  Ha!) I will not be denied the movement I desire and need!

Friends, The journey to connect to authentic identity and become all you were created capable of being is much like my drive last night.  Obstacles will rise up.  Others will block and impede your progress.  Moving forward in light of that means that you dig deep, tap into your determination and desire and PUSH the obstacle out of the way!

Some people will help, some will sit complacently by the side and enjoy the benefits of your hard work.  It will be difficult, it will be challenging.  But you reap the rewards of the freedom to keep on moving and discover that you CAN!

Why was I so determined?  Because I was going to speak to a large gathering of people desiring to hear about the impact of sex abuse and find hope in restoration!  Obstacle get out of my way!  I am a woman on assignment, living out of passion and purpose!  I and those who will join me will not be denied.

Stand Up

Huh - just seeing the title, it appears that this blog post will again have a "fight" flavor to it. Why?  Because at the core of me is a fighting warrior tired of a world that compacently accepts violence and the presence of sex abuse. 

I see hundreds of people turn out for a walk against breast cancer - and yet the numbers of victims of breast cancer are not near the numbers of victims of sex abuse!

I see hundreds of people turn out for a walk to support issues around mental health - and yet many of those issues originate in the trauma of sex abuse.

I see hundreds of people turn out for a walk about autism, cystic fibrosis and now Alzheimer's.

What the heck?!?  We issue a call for people to Stand Up against sex abuse - and we have little response!  I'm sick of the powerless feeling.  I'm sick of the shame keeping us from addressing it.  I'm sick of the passive acceptance of sex abuse as something we have to "prevent"! Let's not tolerate it!

STAND UP!  When we asked 300 people what their first response was when they heard about sex abuse, the word most used was "sick".  I'm calling you to move beyond that first response!  Yes, it is "sick", but let's get angry about it.  Let's take this down.  Let's Stand Up and battle the mindsets that allow sex abuse to exist. 

If you are in the Cincinnati area - join us on August 17th, in Ault Park as we walk and STAND UP OHIO.  This will be unique!  You won't just walk, although showing up alone will make a statement.  But you will have the opportunity to visit 3 action stations where you will help unearth and combat cultural norms and mindsets.  We are attacking at the root!  COME UP TO  A HIGHER PLACE AND BATTLE WITH US!

rsvp: connections2602@gmail.com  or http://standupohiowalk.brownpapertickets.com

Occupy your land

This journey of restoring authentic identity is a battle!  Think of it this way:  someone has crossed a boundary and has invaded your territory.  This invader has imposed new rules of thinking and behaving and your healthy sense of identity has been submerged under this tyrant.

You have decided to declare war on this invasion and throw out the rules, thoughts and behaviors the invader left behind.  These rules, thoughts and behaviors cripple you and unless defeated, will define your life. 

You are going to stop running from "knowing what you know", turn around, face the reality of what you experienced and "occupy your land."  It is a place of great strength to stand by your core, recognize your innate value and take it back - occupy it!

It is an action.  It is a reclaiming.  Draw your weapons of restoration by taking responsibility to fight the battle, recognizing the impact of the invasion, identifying your power of agreement and internalize the new truth.  Occupy!

It is victory that is possible! 
www.beyondrecoverytorestoration.com

Fighting the Wrong Battle

The honest truth is that life is difficult.  It is full of disappointment, hurt, confusion and often trauma. How we make it through these challenges, and what we do with them is were the value lies. You have to fight to overcome.  And far too often we end up fighting the wrong battle.

Consider a woman now in domestic violence. Thinking that her only means of stopping the attacks is to adjust her demeanor, or words or behaviors, she battles herself, denies her needs and adjusts.  Consider the adult man victimized by sex abuse as a child.  Thinking that his sexuality is the problem, he battles and denies his natural responses.  A battle has an objective - what would you say is the objective in the battle these two people are fighting? I suggest that in these examples, the objective is to manage the trauma and it's impact. It's the wrong battle.  It's wasted energy.  And it does not produce freedom.

We have to fight for the freedom to be who we were created to be.  We have to fight for our rights, fight for our authentic identity and the power and direction it provides.  We have to fight the belief systems developed from wounding and trauma that tell us we don't matter or have no value. 

Deep inside is the essence of you.  It has not disappeared, it has not been destroyed.  It waits, holding the treasures of your potential and the provision to accomplish it. 

That's the correct battle!