Is it a Crime or a Public Health Issue?

How we use words makes all the difference in how we shape the world around us.  If you've been hanging with me for any length of time you already know that I ask questions to highlight how the words we use can set a direction or thought we didn't intend.

I'm known for challenging the use of the word prevention.  For me the word has a subtle undertone that says: "Sex abuse exists in our culture, but don't worry, I'm going to do everything I can to keep it from touching you." That means I have passively accepted that it exists. I use the term "Zero Tolerance" as that is what I'm after!

Now I'm spending time looking at how we "do" prevention.  The Center for Disease Control and other high visible agencies working on preventing sex abuse have said that sex abuse is a "public health issue".  Hmmmm.....I find some inherent difficulties in that framework.

Typically when I hear that something is a "public health issue", I'm programmed to believe that if I get the right medication, or shot or follow a prescription, I can get better. If I have not experienced this public health issue, then I have no need to pay attention or get involved. So, first, we haven't done a very good job of talking about "why" sex abuse is a public health issue.  I don't think the average person has any real clue about how sex abuse impacts the culture.

Secondly, the subtle message in a public health model is that whoever is involved in this public health issue will be the one who does what is necessary to "get better." They will get the shot or the prescription. They will fix it. This thinking keeps the collective community from seeing it as something we should all address. This framework allows for individualistic complacency and passivity, it does not build capacity for a community response.

Let's use stronger language! Why don't we call it what it is?  A CRIME!  A crime against the human spirit!  A crime against the possibility and potential of people!

When we call it what it is, perhaps we can ignite the movement to fight against it.

Living in the moment

We are having an unusual summer in Cincinnati.  Cool temperatures with no humidity!  I find myself really enjoyng it, but waiting, poised for the REAL weather to show up. 

My grandchildren are off playing and I hear the giggles, but I'm waiting, poised for the cry that will come when one of them gets hurt or disappointed.

I catch myself in these thoughts of waiting for the bad stuff to happen, and sigh - then feel the tension in my body.  Why is it that living in the moment is so difficult?  Why is it that I rob myself of experiencing the pleasure of the moments I'm in? 

I find this challenge is something many of us struggle with.  It is the history and experience of our past that informs our preparation for the future, and we skip right over the now.  And when we do, our expectation of the negative is fulfilled as we pull it in to our atmosphere and miss the pleasure that is available. 

Just being in the moment isn't safe.  I hear all the "should's" in my head: You must be prepared to manage the emotion that will erupt in a minute.  You must anticipate the needs of others. You must not take in the joy because that will make the sorrow even bigger.  You've got to be in control so you don't acknowledge your lack of power.  All the should's, they rob me.

In this moment my 5 year old grandaughter runs into the room laughing as she brings me her dress up clothes to help her become Snow White.....I look into her eyes, see the joy in her "now".  I'm drawn into her world, and decide to drop all my shoulds.  Some moments are too precious too miss.