Denial is not a safe place

Some things are really hard to know and accept as reality.  Who among us really wants to be faced with the ugliness and hurt of the world? Sex abuse falls into that category of "I don't want to know."  It is extremely difficult to acknowledge that it is present in our world - or even more difficult to acknowledge that it might have been in your world. 

That's why we so often choose denial!  It appears that denial brings relief from feeling the pain of an intolerable truth.  It appears that denial insulates you from being hurt again.  And it appears that through the glasses of denial you can move successfully through life.

And for a time, denial may accomplish all those things.  But not really.

The truth is still there, impacting your beliefs and thus your behaviors.  The emotions are still there, perhaps causing you digestive problems or severe headaches.  And most challenging, the thinking and behaviors adopted in trauma, and often not recognized, actually create vulnerability in your life.  Denial does not keep you safe. What do I mean? 

• Suppose you choose to deny the disregard you experienced in sex abuse. You now have no radar to recognize when you might be experiencing disregard in current relationships.
• Suppose you choose to deny that Uncle Jim molested you.  You now have no power to stay away from either the Uncle or anyone else who is unsafe.

Choosing to come out of denial and "know what you already know", provides power to live in authenticity. Knowledge is power.  That knowledge equips you to make decisions based on truth. You can make decisions that create safety and honor the value of you. Fears that may have haunted you are understood and conquered. The truth does set you free - to be a powerful you!