Sensitivity Hijacked

Restoration - becoming all you were created capable of being!

We have this amazing sheet art piece, the "Handprint Banner", on which victims of sex abuse have written about how sex abuse impacted them.  Central to many of the statements is the question, "Who am I?"  Thus, core to our restoration model is the process of reconnecting to parts of identity by removing any disregard or damage done to them.

We typically start by exploring character qualities - we all have them and can be discovered pretty quickly.  Character qualities are those guiding principles behind the scene.  They can be impacted by sex abuse and require some adjustment.

This week we have explored sensitivity.  Sensitivity is an awareness and understanding of how other people are feeling. The victim of sex abuse absolutely has sensitivity - an often heightened and distorted sense of sensitivity.  For example she is sensitive to:

• The nuances of the perpetrator:  They are sensitive to such things as movements and breathing; always vigilant to sense the mood shifts in anticipation of the actions of the person who hurts them.
• The nuances of even "safe people".  On guard to protect themselves from rejection or possible hurt, they are sensitive to body language, i.e. facial expressions, breathing, tone; anticipating what they might need to do to protect themselves.
• The escape route in the room:  Sensitive to where the door is, perhaps choosing to face it in order to have a sense of power.
• Sensitive to read people in a room; who appears to be a danger; who might be safe.

The character quality of sensitivity was designed to create intimacy and connection.  The appropriate use of sensitivity allows me to recognize your emotional state and need so that I can meet you there; so that we can feel connected.  Sensitivity was not designed to be a means of discerning danger.

When the victim of sex abuse does the work of recognizing how a character trait has been hijacked, they then have power to shift it - clean it off - and gain the freedom to connect to their authentic identity in the purpose and design in which it was formed.

Freedom to have access to all aspects of identity and live out of their authentic purpose is AMAZING!