We are having an unusual summer in Cincinnati. Cool temperatures with no humidity! I find myself really enjoyng it, but waiting, poised for the REAL weather to show up.
My grandchildren are off playing and I hear the giggles, but I'm waiting, poised for the cry that will come when one of them gets hurt or disappointed.
I catch myself in these thoughts of waiting for the bad stuff to happen, and sigh - then feel the tension in my body. Why is it that living in the moment is so difficult? Why is it that I rob myself of experiencing the pleasure of the moments I'm in?
I find this challenge is something many of us struggle with. It is the history and experience of our past that informs our preparation for the future, and we skip right over the now. And when we do, our expectation of the negative is fulfilled as we pull it in to our atmosphere and miss the pleasure that is available.
Just being in the moment isn't safe. I hear all the "should's" in my head: You must be prepared to manage the emotion that will erupt in a minute. You must anticipate the needs of others. You must not take in the joy because that will make the sorrow even bigger. You've got to be in control so you don't acknowledge your lack of power. All the should's, they rob me.
In this moment my 5 year old grandaughter runs into the room laughing as she brings me her dress up clothes to help her become Snow White.....I look into her eyes, see the joy in her "now". I'm drawn into her world, and decide to drop all my shoulds. Some moments are too precious too miss.
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