Her eyes tell me she doesn't fully grasp what I'm sharing. As a young child she was repeatedly molested by family members and she has deep beliefs about her value and who she is. Hearing that she isn't what happened to her - that the story the molester assigned to her isn't hers - rocks her foundation.
The beliefs based on trauma are so deep that she feels threatened when I offer an alternative. I get it. We build our relationships and our world based on internal capacities defined by our experiences. And it limits us and how we interact and move. When I suggest that there is more to her, she feels rattled and wonders about this hope. Can she really become all she was created to be?
Hope comes in strange packages. It can come in a song, in a whisper from your heart, or in the words of a speaker. Hearing it is not enough. The next step is up to you. What will you do with the hope offered? Will you explore it? Will you do the hard work of internalizing it and shifting what you think?
Put aside the stories others have written for you and discover who you really are!
I get it too. So much of their identity has been seen as what happened to them. But I know that doing the difficult work and pushing through unfamiliar and uncomfortable feelings and beliefs can restore authentic identity.
ReplyDeleteI love that about you Rebecca and Rachel... that you get it! That you get it that victims of abuse struggle to replace old patterns of thought. That you are willing to listen as they process through the uncomfortable feelings so they can be restored to their authentic identities!
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